The Sound of Silence

Oh hey, sorry about the silence here - I'll keep it fairly brief.

The main thing keeping from the computer is that The Toddler got sick. It was a bit of a sniffle, then a cough, then watery eyes and then it kept going and going and going and then she was vomiting phlegm on my bedroom floor and it was taking everything I had not to just pack up and move away. The only thing going for her was that it happened during a coughing fit, as opposed to a gross 'proper' vomit, so my sympathy spew vibe didn't take over.

The most annoying part of The Toddler being sick is that she gets really annoying. It's like everything is a hassle, she isn't so much hot and cold as she is cold and cold, and she is in extra need of cuddles but partners that with an increased desire to lick things and put her hands on your face / in your mouth / all over your food / in your glass. It got to a point where my dad asked me who was the adult, after I complained that I couldn't always resist my urge to mock her back in her own voice when she once again whinged something at me, and my answer was that there was none - that there was a baby looking after two other babies and who on earth let it get to this. But then, after she asked to go to the doctor and we got given a script for antibiotics 'just in case', and then daycare mentioned that she had coughed all day and it would be worth giving them to her, she is finally on the mend. Yesterday was the first day in many many days that was a joy, and today proved it wasn't a fluke. I'm reminded of the last rough patch I had, just before a language explosion, and I know I need to focus on celebrating the good times and making positive interactions - I cringed when I heard The Toddler tell a crying Bubby 'Enough!', it's hard to see your flaws presented back at you for what they really are.

This was combined with The Bubby teething. Except that she didn't actually have any teeth until today - three weeks later. She had all the signs - drool, red cheeks, more drool, grabbing at her mouth, bumpy jaws - for three weeks. I am hoping she teeths similar to The Toddler, two at a time. If there a little upset or a lot upset, you can't do anything differently, but teething in twos means less instances. She is also going through a bit of a clingy phase - she cries if I leave her, then calms a little, then starts again if she sees me and realises I am not with her. As of today, she also has the cough and watery eyes of The Toddler, and The Husband is coming down with it too. With the exception of a 230 feed last night, she is also down to four feeds a day and sleeping 12 hours at night - she is still such an angel, such a delight.

It's something we're both going to need to work through as next week I have to leave her down on the floor at daycare so she starts getting used to it before she starts next year.

I have also had my ups and downs - as above, I've got to start getting my head back in to being a working mum. I had a bit of a ramble at my boss about what I liked and didn't like about work and we had a good chat and I'm a lot more excited about returning. I'm also excited about returning as a size 12 (yay!) but also settling in to the fact that this is it - there won't be any more babies to break up the next 30 years or so of my working life. So I need to work out what I want to do, and do it.

That's not so brief. I hope to be back in the swing of it now!

Feeding stretch, follow up

After that quick post-race feed, the baby did two more short feeds before she went to bed.

And I thought I'd be fine.

But I woke up at 1am and it huuuuuuuuurt.

Needless to say, I pumped almost 200ml after her first feed this morning.

Sometimes, breastfeeding can be a real pain!!

Feeding stretch

I got to compete in my first regatta today, with the dragon boating I started a bit over a month ago.

I needed to be there by 7am - urgh.

The Bubby woke up at 530 so I fed her - she did 4 minutes on one side, 2 on the other.
I didn't get the chance to feed her again until almost 130. That's 8 hours after a small feed, which was 10 hours after her last feed.

On the plus side, The Bubby took a bottle of EBM from The Husband. I'm glad she did because she had only really half fed from the bottle until now, and it had been ages since we last tried.

But there was a part of me that felt a little rejected, which is silly, because I want her to start formula for her day feeds before she starts daycare next year. And the pain in my chest kind of wanted her to feed when she arrived with The Husband and The Toddler at around 11.30am.

Smug dinner

After the near-burn fiasco with The Toddler last week, I finally succeeded is blending up some pasta for The Bubby's dinner.

She went ape for it.

Pasta, pasta sauce (whole tomato, basil and garlic), cheese and peas, with a bit of water to help it mix.

It took me long enough to get in the habit of putting food aside for The Toddler, now I need to start putting a bit extra aside to blend for The Bubby.

I did feel smug about how well she took to it. That's promising.

Feeding

The Bubby has gone back to sleeping through (amazing!!!).

I am still adjusting to it (again) after my boobs got used to her waking for a feed at night. I find myself waking up on my back, for fear of setting them off.

However, her feeding has also petered out a bit. Which I feel both good and bad about.

For the most part, she is down to four feeds a day - roughly 7am, 1130, 330 and 730 (to sleep).

But, the last few mornings she has only done one side for her morning feed (OUCH), and less than five minutes at that.

On the plus side, I'm getting some more frozen EBM stockpiled, which should be handy for a few nights out.

But I'm not sure whether it is a permanent or temporary thing - should she really be cutting back her feeds already? She is a fantastic eater, but is that 'bad' if she shouldn't be just yet?

The Bubby has her needles next monday (hooray) so I think I'll ask the MACH nurse about it then.

Play feeding

The Toddler doesn't have many dolls. She has two, but she doesn't really show all that much interest in them.

Which is why when she started playing with one the other day, I was really curious to see what would happen.

She cradled it and gave it a hug. Then she pulled up her shirt as if to feed it, and placed it on her bellybutton.

I chose to not read in to that as an indicator on sagginess on my behalf.

Then this morning, she found some of the padded inserts from an old bra of mine, and stuck them down her shirt - she told The Bubby 'it's time to feed!' and then pulled them out and left them on the bedside table.

She also tries to help with The Bubby is distracted at feeding time, by pushing on her head to say 'not watching tv! It's time to feed!' before whispering 'that's better' when it looks like she will feed.

It's adorable, but also interesting to see how much of it she has taken in. She does point and say 'milk in there' and knows kind of what's going on when I have to express. I am just glad she has never asked for any.

Cut down

The Bubby fed at 7am, 1130am, 330pm and 800pm.

I hope we're not up all night, and that maybe (just maybe?) she's able to stretch this far now.

She had a weetbix with boiled water over it at 830am, a sachet of chicken and veg at 130pm, and a piece of toast, a baby mum-mum and half a sachet of bangers and mash (with some water) at 630pm.

Eating

The Bubby is up to eating three packets of food a day (yup, typical second child scenario).

I've pulled out the baby food books so I can start giving her more solid food (as opposed to puree) but I still can't get my head around what I used to do!

She is a fantastic little eater, so I hope she keeps it up.

Duct

I think I experience my first blocked duct yesterday.

For the first time in a long time, I woke up with one boob feeling really 'full'.

It's a timely reminder of exactly why I don't want to be pumping for The Bubby when I return to work - if she is still on day feeds, we will be transitioning them to formula feeds (I'm happy to do morning and evening feeds with her).

I fed her off that side first and then pumped afterwards - I got 100ml or so out, but it didn't feel right still.

After two more feeds, and before we headed out, I headed to the ensuite to try to manually get some more out - the pump doesn't feel as 'strong' as I would like, so figured I could take a few minutes and try to sort it out myself.

I put pressure where it was uncomfortable and had only done two or three 'expressing's when I felt/heard a 'pop!' and then watched as milk just streamed. I only had my hand on the sore spot, and it was going by itself for over a minute (I started counting the seconds because I couldn't believe what was happening!) - I could also feel the sore spot deflating.

It got to the point where I was a bit worried I'd hit something else - it didn't look milk coloured as it was coming out - who knows what I thought it could have been.

Luckily, that seemed to be it. I was a bit worried because I have a touch of the head cold that The Toddler brought home from daycare, and a headache, and I know that mastitis starts off feeling like a cold that rapidly disintegrates. But The Bubby slept from 930-730 (for the first time in a loooooooong time) and I woke up feeling no worse than I did last time.

I hope that's the closest I ever come to it.

Toast

Trying to get The Bubby on to three meals a day is proving harder than expected.

Not because she's not in to it (she's totally in to it), but managing the timing between breastfeeds and naps, and The Toddler and getting out of the house occassionally.

To try and get her in to a more reaslitic pattern and away from just puree, The Bubby had toast for lunch.

And she loved it (just like The Toddler did)!

Although she was more enthusiastic than she was accurate - there was a lot of gumming and sucking but a lot of the time the toast was next to her mouth.

She's growing up!

Waking

With a few days of additional wakeups (1am! No thanks!) we gave The Bubby two solids feeds last night.

Good news - no 1am wakeup!
Bad news - 11pm wakeup!
Good news - slept through until 5am wake up!

11pm sounds great, but it's rough when you've fallen asleep half an hour earlier, in an effort to get a good chunk of sleep before a wake up.

Of course, it's rougher on The Husband who I made get up at 630 (as I'd only just gotten back to sleep after the 5am sleep and have been up to The Toddler 9 mornings in a row) and then found out he'd only gotten to sleep at 2am. But that's his fault. I definitely enjoyed my extra 90 minutes of sleep!

Drop 8, drop 7

This week, I only had a loss of half a kilo.

I've been doing quite well, with a lost of 7.9kg over 8 weeks, but with The Bubby starting to increase her solids (she had a full two teaspoons of farex quite easily today), I need to adjust my eating accordingly.

Time to farewell another 7 'points' from my daily allowance - unless it affects my milk supply/means I'm not eating enough, then I'll bring them back quicker than I can drink a red-eye!

Solids

It's begun.

At mothers group this morning, we were talking about solids a bit. I mentioned I'd been thinking about starting as The Bubby is putting things in her mouth and interested in our food. To illustrate/test it out, I gave her some pear in a mesh sack.

She LOVED it.

I tried her with farex just after her feed at lunch time, and I'm not sure if she ate much of it. She pushed some out with her tongue, but it wasn't an instant reflex thing - the tongue push can be a sign that they're not ready. I plan to try again tomorrow to see how she goes with it, I think she'll get in to it.

The last tricky thing is whether or not I have to reduce the amount of food that I eat now that she is on solids, if she is actually 'on solids'!

Bang! Boom! Body!

I've been doing Weight Watchers now for a month and I've lost 4.4kg.

I feel better. I have more energy. I am cooking better meals for myself and my family. I look forward to getting out and getting to the gym (and yes, to 'letting' the husband experience an hour or so twice a week as the stay-at-home parent). I wore leggings to the gym for the first time ever. I am thinking about what goes in my mouth rather than just obsessing and craving all the 'bad' food I can get my hands on.

I'm now about the weight I was when I fell pregnant with The Bubby. Which is five more than when I fell pregnant with The Toddler. Which is another five more than my preferred weight. Which is also a few above an awesome (but not really sustainable) weight.

But, while I am back in my 'normal' size and even have a few of those falling down, my shape is nothing like it was before. My stomach is in terrible shape, and the fact that my pelvis is still (STILL!) slipping out (both forward and up/down) is a bit of a pain in the butt (and the pelvis). I don't remember being this barrelly before I fell pregnant the second time, but I could have just been in denial.

Additionally, I get an extra 14 points while The Bubby is fully exclusively breastfed. That cuts down to 7 once she starts solids. We were planning to start The Bubby on solids at exactly 4 months like we did with The Toddler, but while I know she is watching us eat, I am not sure her neck control (see the previous post!) is where it needs to be. I've got a bit over a week to think about it, but we'll see how it goes.

But it feels great to be out and healthy.

It feels great to be living like an adult.

Creating a monster

The Toddler was in no hurry to leave daycare this afternoon (after getting sad and crying for 'mummy cuddles' as I left that morning), so I told her that when we got home we would have a biscuit.

She went mad for her mini wagon wheel.

Unfortunately / adorably, now she points to the fridge and says 'more cholocolate?'.

Whoops.

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

1am, 4am, 6am, 9am, 11am, 1pm, 3pm, (1 hr car ride because seriously, stop feeding and sleep please!), 8pm, 10pm.....

4am, 7am, 9am, 12pm, 1pm, 3pm, 4pm, 5pm, 7pm, 8pm, 930pm...

3am.

Yesterday was hopefully the end of a wonder week, so lets hope this feeding frenzy wraps up.

Downsize

For both feeds tonight, The Bubby has done only one side per feed.

Which is great for time saving if we'd agreed on it ahead of time, rather than me spending 10 minutes trying to force a boob in to the mouth of a baby that just wants to coo, smile, then gradually slip off to sleep in my arms.

Bottles

Last night, I headed out to a dear friends engagement party.

In typical style, being my first real outing away from The Bubby, I almost didn't make it as The Bubby started some cluster feeding and being unsettled, and then I couldn't find my wallet and thought it was stolen, then couldn't fine appropriate shoes because gawddamn it seems I'm not ready to wear heels again yet.

It was sooooo nice to be out with adults - I came home with a sore throat from talking non stop for four hours.

And The Bubby? She was fine. She was unsettled and drank from the bottle from 9pm until midnight (she fell asleep just before I got home), and The Husband said it was hard, but not impossible.

I'm so excited that at 7 weeks I've been able to get out and we've handled it fine (unlike the first time we tried to head out when The Toddler was a baby) - I should be able to do it more often, earlier now.

To top it off, she slept until 5:30!

Stretch

Oh man!

The baby did her usual two hourly feeds for most of today/tonight. Rather than the standard 6-8 feeds a day, she is doing more than 10/12.

But.

Last night, after feeding at 9:00 and not being settled in her bassinet until just before 11pm, she didn't wake again until 3:30am. That's 6.5 hours!

If only she had settled quicker, I would have got 5.5 hours sleep. But I'll take my 4 hours and run with them!

(Well, not run, because I've still got a lot of jelly, but I'll fast walk with it).

Tick tick

I love it when, for some reason, The Bubby decides to just sit and gaze at the boob without feeding, giving the occasional gas smile.

Then giving an obligatory suck or two ten minute later, before going back to just staring at it.

After a night if cluster feeding for 4.5 hours followed by 2 hours of crying.

And this stating comes halfway through a feed which, while is 4 5 hours after the last one, is less than 2 hours after the crying stopped.

Which is also occurring with a feed that required 2 nappy changes after peeing while getting out in to a new nappy, and then starting in that new one just as it was bing secured.

No, wait. No I don't. It's annoying as butt.