Baby hair

There was a recent episode of Modern Family where the mum was rubbing her newborn baby half brother all over her shirt because the newborn baby smell is intoxicating.

Ha ha, right?

But there is nothing, NOTHING, like the feel of your newborn baby's short and soft spikey black hair on your cheeks, nose and eyelashes as she lays cuddled in to your chest.

Bless you

I just can't stop myself from saying 'bless you' when The Bubby sneezes.

It's like I'm worried she'll think I'm rude if I don't.

Even though she doesn't even have the brain capacity to stop her eyes crossing over in the 90 minutes in every 24 hours where her eyes are even open....

On the future

I was skimming through the articles on one of the many 'mommy blogs' that I have in my RSS feed, and came across a story of a 7 year old girl who decided to start fundraising for cancer the day after her moth died of breast cancer.

It stopped me.

7 years old and her mother died.

In five years time, that could be me and The Toddler.

Or, even now, if I were to die, I would leave two daughters with no mother.

It's like I spent all pregnancy thinking about and hoping that my babies would arrive safely. And then, I seem to skip straight through to them being teenagers.

Even on the odd occasion I've thought about what would happen if something happened to The Husband or I, I've never considered the impact on our daughters.

Obviously, I know it is a terribly sad event when a parent dies.

But how sad to be the parent that dies, the sadness you carry for yourself and the sadness you carry for the hurt you are causing.

How heartbreaking.

Early changes

There are a few positive changes that come from no longer being pregnant...

- I can brush my tongue again! All pregnancy, and last pregnancy, any pressure of my toothbrush on my tongue caused a massive dry retch.

- our dining chairs aren't as scary as they used to be. I was always underestimating my girth Nd banging my bump on the pointy corners of the top of the chairs.

- I can roll over in bed with out having to do it in four moves with my knees pressed firmly together (the SPD made it really uncomfortable to cha be positions in bed).

- I can hug The Husband without a giant lump between us. And get out of chairs easier. And get up and down to change The Toddler.

- it's easier to push a pram with two flat tyres through the mall than it is to walk with no pram and a baby on the inside.

- I'm 9kg lighter than when I gave birth (and I lost a few kg once I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes). I still have 4kg to go to get to pre pregnancy rate, then an additional 5kg to get back to my usual weight, and an additional 5-7kg to get to my favourite weight, but its a start.

- I can start thinking about the things I'd like to do this year (boxfit, rowing, roller derby) in realistic timeframes, rather than 'once the baby is out'.

- While I do kind of miss seeing my belly roll around, it's nowhere near as amazing as it feels to actually hold my baby in my arms.

It is harder to do y blood thinning needles though - all my belly is soft and some of the jabs Re quite painful, Worrying me that I might be injecting in to muscle.

Out of the house

We did it! We got out of the house.

The Bubby woke every three hours last night, so I was a little tireder than usual. In fact, when she woke at 5:30, I could hear her in my dream, but my brain wasn't computing that I needed to get up and feed her. It was only when The Husband shook me softly and said 'Sweetie... She's making a lot of noise...' that I came out of the fog and remembered what my job is.

The Husband got up at 7:30 when The Toddler called out, and while I registered that it happened, it felt like I only just closed my eyes before they were both in the room with me. It was actually 90 minutes later.

Considering it took 45 minutes to feed The Bubby, we did remarkably well to o my arrive at the markets 30 minutes later than what we did as a three person family. Plus I got the Ergo on and working fine with minimal stress.

The plan is that I can get out to the shops tomorrow, we'll see how we go. And if we can't get the timing right, I'm confident that The Husband and I could take both of the out. And I'm even feeling a little sure that I could manage taking the two of the out together, for a quick trip, if I loaded The Toddler up with treats.

Run away from the groundhog

Today my family was getting together for lunch to celebrate my mum's birthday (early next week) and belated celebrate The Husband's birthday (earlier this month). The plan was to meet at their house at 12, for lunch at 1.

The Bubby gave us an amazing nights sleep (feeding at 11:30, 4am and 8:30) and The Toddler woke at 8:30 as well. I was hoping to slam a feed in to The Bubby and then head out with The Toddler to get mums gift.

But it just didn't happen.

Feeding took close to 45 minutes (she gets cosy between feeds and needs a burp sometimes to get her appetite back), then it took me longer than I expected to eat my bowl of cereal and get dressed (The Toddler slows things down a little).

Once 90 minutes had passed, I realised I wouldn't be able to get out to the shops and back in time, so we planned for The Husband and The Bubby to come as well (so I could feed her if needed). But then The Husband also needed to have his breakfast and shower, and I needed to work out how to use the Ergo if I was taking her to the shops.

And then it was 11am and we still hadn't left.

And I had to work hard to not get too upset about the fact that we'd somehow fiddle fart arsed away 2.5 hours. And seemingly I wasn't too successful, as my dad picked up on it straight away.

I don't feel anywhere near as tired as I did when The Toddler was The Baby. Everything seems to be that much easier this time around - changing nappies used to take five minutes (I don't know how!) but it's a breeze. Baby feeds more efficiently and I'm in the swing of wrapping her and she settles quickly.

But I've only had one outing since arriving home, and that was to buy dog crates to try to stop our dogs from fighting and to do the groceries. Which left me with an aching pelvis all day.

And The Husband gets to go out and run and swim and ride, get exercise and do things in his own time.

There's no reason he can't - he's on leave too, he is doing so much with The Toddler, he has only just been given the all clear to exercise and it makes him (and therefore me!) feel better, and all he'd be doing otherwise is sitting around at home like me.

But it still grinds that my days are dictated in three hourly chunks, where I should feel 'thankful' that I 'got' to go out and do a chore. And that my next outing is similar (pick up my serviced watch / get winter clothes for baby / finally get mums birthday present).

I'm wondering if this is the hormones...

Home visit

As part of the whole birth thing here, you get a visit from the maternal and community heal nurse some time in the first two weeks after your baby is born.

When The Toddler was born, the nurse came within a few days. I suspect this is because the nurses could sense my apprehension about being at home and I charge of a baby. This time, the midwife told me not to expect to be seen until a fortnight.

They visited today.

And everything is great,

The Bubby is 20g up from her birth weight, which is apparently a big deal (particularly as her last feed was 3.5 hrs before she was weighed).

This weight gain means there is nothing to worry about in terms of her going around 4 hours between feeds (rather than the standard 3), and also because she is producing lots of wet nappies and chunky cheesy yellow poop (so glamorous).

It seems we have a good combination going of good supply and an efficient feeder.

Fingers crossed it stays this way!