... driving away

This morning, we aimed to leave at 8am.

Then The Toddler slept in until 730 (never happens!) so we were to leave at 830.

Then The Husband had forgotton the portacot so we left at 900.

It was 230 before we checked in to the hotel.

To think, I don't know how I would pack for just myself to go somewhere now!

Packing up

Tomorrow we take the girls up to Sydney with their cousin and her parents (one of my brothers and my sister in law) to see Peppa Pig.

I have already spent two hours packing tonight, and I'm not finished.

Anniversary

Yesterday was The Husband's and I fourth wedding anniversary, and The Husband took the day off today so we could get some stuff done.

I dropped The Toddler off at daycare and we spent the day with The Bubby - the first time since our trip to Sydney a few months ago. Although there was lots of in and out of the car and the carrier for her, I think she really enjoyed having all of the attention.

Even better, The Husband looked after The Bubby when we got home and I got a 90 minute nap! That's the best gift a husband can give his wife...

Dinner tantrum

We had my family over for dinner last night - it was our turn to cook family tea.

I'd been talking to The Toddler all day, telling her about how all the family would be coming to visit, so she was ramped and ready for the arrival.

However.

When it was time to come inside and eat dinner?
EPIC TANTRUM.

Our plan?

Leave her outside for a while. Then I force her in. Then she commences crazy screaming and crying jag. Then she eats two bites of dinner as bribery before being allowed to visit the cat that came with one of my brothers and his wife. Then she gets a piece of ice cream cake.

Something tells me she won't really understand why her behaviour wasn't spot on.

Courage

I try to get the whole family out on a weekend, rather than sticking around the house (seeing as I feel I'm here all the damn time!) - last weekend we went to the botanical gardens, this week we went to the arboretum.

The Toddler loves the playground there - it has four swings, two of which are the type you lay down on. In an effort to keep her away from spending two hours on a swing, we took her over to the climbing castle. And she took to it like a fish out of water.

Last time I went with her, she climbed through two rope segments to get to the second level. This time, she was climbing big round ladders and frames to heights much higher than we could reach, then going down the slide. Each time she made it to the top of the slide, she'd proclaim 'I did it!' and throw her hands out, before sliding down and saying "I did it! I do it again!" and repeating. I showed the husband where she had climbed up to last time - it's no mean feat, with the rope segments letting you see clearly how high you are. I only let her get to that second level before bribing her back because I was there alone with her and had The Bubby in a carrier on my front, so I couldn't go up and rescue her if need be.

Before we knew it, she was up on the fourth floor.

I felt sick.

It was so high, it was full of bigger kids, and other than going back the way she came, the only way to get down was a big, twisted, enclosed slide. And there is no way I would ever go down that slide.

I sent The Husband up - I was expecting to hear her thump and bump her way down and come down bawling, but someone elses daughter appeared at the bottom. And then someone elses son. And then just as The Husband kicked his thongs off to start ascending, she appeared. Facing backwards, and on her hands and knees, looking a little shocked, The Toddler.

She was so brave.

There were no tears (from either of us!) but she hasn't really stopped talking about how it was dark and scary.

It will be interesting to see if she wants to do it again next time we go.

Broken sleep

The Bubby has been sleeping well.

I decided once she turned 6 months on Saturday that if she woke before 5am, I would start settling her rather than feeding her, in an effort to drop that over night feed.

Sunday night at 1am, I thought we were being burgled and I was up exploring the house to make sure we weren't. The Bubby woke at 5am, The Toddler woke at 6am, 620, 640, 650 and 7.

Monday night at 1am The Toddler woke up and just walked in to our room (no idea why, I settled her back to sleep). At 5am one of the birds got his wing caught in the cage and I was on the phone to the emergency vet working out what to do. At 6am, The Bubby woke and fed only one side. Then she woke again at 630 for the other side. Then The Toddler was awake at 650 and I had to hide in The Bubby's room so that she wouldn't hear me and come out of her room 'before the sun comes up'.

Tuesday night at 130am I woke up from a nightmare that The Husbands ex girlfriend was shooting me. At 4 I woke up thinking I heard The Bubby. At 600 I fed The Bubby.

Last night I also woke around 1 and 4 and 6 (The Husband was gettng ready to ride to work), then up at 7 with The Bubby and The Toddler.

I am really hoping I can start sleeping through as well as my girls are.

Joyous joyous

There is no greater joy than that which comes after a day (A DAY!) of cleaning house while The Bubby naps and lays on various floors and beds while The Toddler is at daycare.

There is space in my house again!

There is not grit in every corner and room!

Toys are in boxes and trays!

Clothes are off the floordrobe and in the wardrobe!

Mirrors are spotless!

Such a pleasure!!!

Zoo

Bad mummy sandwich:

 - Taking the toddler to the zoo (good!) but taking all the shortcuts to leave quicker (bad) because you forgot her suncream (bad) and could only bribe her in to it by buying her a paddlepop (bad).

Holding

When we were getting ready for the arrival of The Bubby, I know that I was mentally preparing myself for a big hard terrible slog.

My reasoning was that if I prepared myself for the worst, I could only be pleasantly surprised or I could be right - either way, it's a win.

I probably don't need to articulate in this post just how much of a dream baby The Bubby has been.

When I have taken her out shopping and had her in the pram, only a few times now, I find myself missing her.

When we went to family tea after my trip to Sydney, I didn't want my mum to hold her because I hadn't really 'seen' her much that day, and I wanted a turn.

I found there are times when I almost physically ache to hold her - I see her and I need to feel her in my arms. Or when she is in the carrier, I can't help but wrap my arms around her - she is already pretty damn close, but I just want to hold her closer.

I feel bad and/or sad that I don't remember feeling this way with The Toddler when she was younger.

I don't know if it's because she completely exceeded my expectations, or because she seems so much like me, or because I know she will be the last and every last of hers is my last too. But it's the first time I've really 'gotten' that quote about how your children are pieces of your heart on your outside.

I feel it when I look at The Bubby, when I walk in to her room and her face lights up and she throws her arms up in anticipation of being picked up. I feel in when I The Toddler leans in to my neck for a hug, or gets excited about 'the sun is up!' or she laughs with The Husband while he stirs her.

I am so lucky to have both of my girls.

Meet up

Today I travelled to Sydney and back to visit with some of the ladies from one of my online mothers group.

I am so lucky to have found/be found by such a remarkable group of women - it was worth the 6+ hours of driving for The Toddler and The Bubby to meet and greet their friends (friends they don't even realise they have).

The only really stressful moment being when a policecar pulled up behind me as I just finished feeding The Bubby. I had tried to stop at a rest stop but there was no shade, so I had pulled over on the right side of the highway, and seemingly on a slight bend - whoops. Luckily, he didn't (couldn't?) book me for anything, so he just told me to pull over to the left lane as soon as I could when I could, and he flashed the lights to signal when I should do so.

I also discovered that rather than just distracting The Toddler from hours of whinging 'mummy cuddles?!' at me, rubbing her foot while driving actually seems to relax her!

Taste of freedom

I went dragon boating yesterday for the first time.

I loved it.

I got up when The Toddler did at 630, fed The Bubby, got dressed and out the door.

I returned just after 10am to a house in a bit of chaos - The Toddler was 'helping' The Husband make pikelets and she emptied the full litre of milk in to the bowl while he was tending to The Bubby.

But, it didn't phase me - I was on too much of a high from my time out being me, with other grownups, doing something that I seemed to be okay at (for my first time).

Then last night, out to dinner for one of my bestie's birthdays.

I am so lucky that The Bubby got herself in to a routine, and that The Toddler is so consistent, that I was able to time it out with The Bubby's last feed just before I had to leave the house while The Husband was reading to The Toddler.

I had no worries about heading out and enjoying myself, fairly confident that The Bubby wouldn't wake until (well) after I was home.

Apart from the fact I seem to be benefiting from my 930 bedtime more than I realised!

Duct

I think I experience my first blocked duct yesterday.

For the first time in a long time, I woke up with one boob feeling really 'full'.

It's a timely reminder of exactly why I don't want to be pumping for The Bubby when I return to work - if she is still on day feeds, we will be transitioning them to formula feeds (I'm happy to do morning and evening feeds with her).

I fed her off that side first and then pumped afterwards - I got 100ml or so out, but it didn't feel right still.

After two more feeds, and before we headed out, I headed to the ensuite to try to manually get some more out - the pump doesn't feel as 'strong' as I would like, so figured I could take a few minutes and try to sort it out myself.

I put pressure where it was uncomfortable and had only done two or three 'expressing's when I felt/heard a 'pop!' and then watched as milk just streamed. I only had my hand on the sore spot, and it was going by itself for over a minute (I started counting the seconds because I couldn't believe what was happening!) - I could also feel the sore spot deflating.

It got to the point where I was a bit worried I'd hit something else - it didn't look milk coloured as it was coming out - who knows what I thought it could have been.

Luckily, that seemed to be it. I was a bit worried because I have a touch of the head cold that The Toddler brought home from daycare, and a headache, and I know that mastitis starts off feeling like a cold that rapidly disintegrates. But The Bubby slept from 930-730 (for the first time in a loooooooong time) and I woke up feeling no worse than I did last time.

I hope that's the closest I ever come to it.

Nuggets

The Bubby has been doing tiny little poops. Seemingly always as or just after I changed her nappy.

It reached a ridiculous new point today when I changed her nappy mid feed and found a little nugget. Then, half way through the second side she grunted again and I found another nugget.

Changing her, the nappy was clean apart from the nugget - so, resourceful me lifted it away with a baby wipe, just to see another coming. We waited it out and repeated. Then another.

In awesome timing, The Toddler came running into the room and scared it away, so I waited with her nappy off and turned away to get a tshirt for The Toddler, keeping an eye on her for the slightest sign of movement/rolling off the table (yes. Must not do this).

Well.

In the reflection of the mirror, I kid you nod, a turd the length of my hand made it appearance.

That explains the grunting of the past few days.

(Luckily, it was a clean one!)

Petting Zoo

Today, Pa and I took the two girls to Floriade. It was a beautiful day (24 degrees!! Tshirts!!!) and I love getting out to Floriade each year (although I don't seem to spend much time looking at the flowers).

I took The Toddler through the petting zoo, which she loved. She was so gentle and there was minimal of chasing after animals - she especially loved the ducks and the chickens (thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to buying chickens for our house!) and was only scared of the calf (admittedly, I was a little scared of it too).

So, of course, she didn't want to leave.

In my typical style, I used the bartering card of 'ice cream' - I'd been telling her if she was good in the stroller we could see the animals and then get an ice cream. Ice cream wasn't enough.

Luckilly, one of the staff had a little bunny that she used to pied piper The Toddler out of the animal area to the waiting pen, so it was easier to drag her back to her stroller - where she promptly gave us a good demonstration of her planking skills (making it impossible to clip her in to the stroller).

I was so glad to have dad there, who was able to (as he put it) 'use his 1980's voice' to get Eva in to the stroller.

We whinged our way to the ice cream stall where I pointed at the gaytime (seriously, what happened to paddlepops?!), and where she pointed to the magnum instead. Even though I insisted that my parents never bought me a magnum, The Toddler won.

I'm such a sucker!

Poops

Even though I know there is no gonig back for us, there are still a few things being ticked off that I won't be seeing again.

Size 0000 and 000 clothes. She is quickly moving out of being bought clothes from the baby section.

Newborn and infant nappies. We're up to crawlers, which are also easily confused with The Toddlers when they're floating around the nappy bag.

3 hourly feeds. She is much easier able to go 3.5-4 hours before she wants a feed, and I find myself still trying to get her to feed at 3 hours so I can schedule my day easier (naughty mummy).

Baby poops. Gone. She is now squeaking out tiny little tablespoon pasty poops, no more (knock wood!) squirty loud escaping satay nappy fillers.

Though I am a bit conflicted because they totally stink like real poop...!

Wild Things

The Toddler has a book "Daddies are for wild things" that I bought The Husband for his first Fathers Day.

While reading it, I left the end off each sentence for The Toddler to finish.

I don't think I've ever heard anything more adorable than her saying things like "changing lightbulbs!", "making tidal waves" and "tickling me!".

She is growing up in so many leaps and bounds.

Poop face

There are few things more adorable and dread-filling than an infant staring at you, glassy eyed, as she groan-purrs in preparation for a real nappy filler...

Coast trip - there we go

Done.

And it wasn't so bad...

For The Toddler, she was very well behaved. Not one tantrum and she loved her Granny!

But there was a lot of stress. Like when she was forcing Pa's DVD player closed. When she would continually ask for Peppa Pig and then not watch it. When she broke the coffee table. When she kept picking the flowers. When she kept putting crumbs and toys all over the floor. When she put buttery fingerprints all over the glass door. When she spilt milkshake all over the floor/table/seat cushion. When she wouldn't go to bed. When she finally went to bed at 9, took until 930 to fall asleep and then woke up at 630. When she came in to my bed with The Husband at 7, climbed all over me for an hour then heard Granny get out of bed and forced me to hang out in my pyjamas for another two hours while The Husband and The Bubby got to sleep more.

But, again, she loved her Granny and her Granny loved having her there.

And I love her profiteroles!!!!

Tea (time) for two

I always wondered how I would go juggling two babies at the end of the day. Night time is already the hardest part of being a parent of one, what with the tired/cranky child, juggling their dinner (and yours if you're feeling adventurous), bath, stories and bed.

My strategy mostly came down to waiting until The Husband was home and then we'd deal with one each. But that doesn't always work (he's often still at work or sport at this time).

But, we've got in to a bit of a groove (and it seemed I learnt nothing from not having The Toddler in a routine earlier, only really starting this at four months!).

 - Feed The Bubby while The Toddler eats dinner (leftovers from the night before) and usually watches tv (it stops her running around making mess and it's surprisingly effective to pause it until she takes a bite)
 - Bring The Bubby in her rocker to the entrance of the bathroom
 - Do The Toddlers hair, teeth and soap in the bath
 - Bring The Bubby in to the bath as well, let The Toddler pour water on her belly ("good helping!")
 - Nappy and onesie on The Bubby while The Toddler continues to much around
 - The Bubby back in the rocker while The Toddler gets dressed/does a nudie run
 - Stories for both girls in The Toddlers room
 - Put The Bubby in her sleeping bag, give her a top up feed and put her in to bassinet
 - Drink.

Normal

Continuing my weekend of awesome, I headed out for coffee and cake this afternoon with my best friends.

And before I knew it, it was three hours later.

It felt so normal to be there. I wasn't the harried or grumpy or tired mum I can be. I wasn't the odd one out juggling a baby and fussing on her and constantly being distracted. I wasn't trying to keep eyes on The Toddler and having to make my apologies and leave early because there is no way she would even sit still at 10 minutes, let alone three hours.

I was just good, old, normal me.

When I realised the time I dashed home, freaking that I was going to walk in to find a hungry Bubby, a whingy Toddler and an exasperated Husband. Instead, I got a smiley baby (four hours since her last feed and no whinging - I love her!), a cheery toddler, and a Husband who wasn't even worried I was 'late'.

Fantastic.