Brocolli

There's a cliche with new mum's that all they can talk about is their baby, and the baby's poop, and how tired they are.

But I gotta tell you... about poop.

I mentioned the baby had had a few days between action.... until tonight. Conveniently enough, after my cast came off.

She woke up after a 40 minute nap, and as soon as I got in to the room, I smelt poop. Which is rare, because I tend to get the smell of her poop and her other business mixed up.

In the name of good taste, I'll keep it to this: the advantage of a baby on solids is that their poop clings to itself better than it did before. Plus it had spots of broccoli in it.

Two hands!

My hand is back in action!

I've changed a few nappies and an outfit. I carried her through the baby shop in search of a new wrap. I was able to fed her sitting up, burp her and get her in and out of her bed.

Tomorrow I get to go back to mothers group. I get to go grocery shopping alone. I get to do more Christmas shopping!

And I get to hug her whenever and as much as I want.

Two hands

I briefly mentioned that I'd managed to steal a hug the other day.

It wasn't until I finally had her in my arms that I realised how much I missed just that.

I do wonder whether our limited contact over the past 12 days has had an impact on our relationship. At the very least, the husband has shown me how much of a better job I could be doing. When he is with her, she has 100% of his attention.

I do know that we've been in a unique position - as it is safer for her to be spending time with him and his two hands, I've been doing a fair amount of housework, so he has been able to not worry about it so much. Her sleeping has improved SO much during the day too, so she is in a better mood and there is more 'free' time that lets us recharge. And or days haven't been starting until 12pm or later, as we have been getting to bed later.

It will be 'interesting' when he is back at work and it is just the two of us again...

Laughing

The husband has the knack for getting the baby to giggle.

As you start, she'll smile bigger and bigger until it seems impossible for her mouth to take up so much room. Quite often, she'll give a little squeal and then you've really got to work for it - her laugh has a funny tone - it comes from more inside, like a more nasal and muffled noise.

- Make chomping noises at her as you move closer to raspberry her belly.

- Hum the Jaws theme as you get sloooooooooooowly closer before tickling her.

- Hold her tight and lean down towards your toes, calling out 'upside down hugs!'.

- Shoosh her around above your head and steer her side to side like a rocket.

- Take off her clothes and tell her 'give me that!' as you pull her arms in through her sleeves.

I can only really do the first one - and it's harder for me than it is for her daddy. Her face just lights up when she see's him - she knows he is more than likely to give it a go each time he sees her.

Two days...

... without a poop.

Guess it's a fantastic time to not be able to change a nappy...!

All jokes aside, if it doesn't arrive tomorrow I'll be hitting the prune juice to help her get a wriggle on.

(And I got my longest post-surgery cuddle yet today - I can't wait till I can hold her all on my own again!)

Appointment two

We had our second visit with the physio today, to check up on the baby's harness.

She said the baby's skin is doing beautifully - there can be issues with friction/dampness and the harness, so it's good there are no problems.

She switched the two leg pieces around - this should hopefully stop her slipping her feet out and letting the harness rise up her legs.

She said when the time comes, she shouldn't need to transition out of it - some babies need an extra month after their three months, and they often just wear it at night during this transition (though many people have said it's not worth the hassle of on/off/on/off).

She said that there's a slight chance she might only need it for 6 weeks - we get another scan on the Monday before Christmas and seethe pediatrician the Wednesday before Christmas. Which I shouldn't think about, but I can't help it....

It doesn't bother her, but she looked very happy to be straightening her legs out and not as happy to be getting it put back on again.

Down for the count

Since the move to the cot, baby has been sleeping more often during the day. Almost bang on 90 minutes - as soon as she starts getting grumpyish or yawning or rubbing her eyes - the husband wraps her up and puts her in bed and she is asleep almost straight away.

She went down at about 7:30pm, after a feed that included a full serve of farex (and she's had potato today too), she's been soundly asleep for 2 hours. It looks like she has gone down for the night.

At worst, she'll wake up a few times tonight - which is pretty normal.

At best, she might just sleep through?

Get it out

Baby had her first nappy blowout in the harness late last night.

You know what's worse than a baby pooping out of their nappy?

A baby that's saved up a 'I'm-starting-solids' poop for 36 hours that spills out of a nappy and on to their outfit and pavlik harness so that they get more poop on the harness as you take their outfit off; then you get to undo parts of the harness to rinse it then dry with a hairdryer but then the hairdryer stops so you hand dry it with toilet paper; then you work out how to do the harness up and hope you've done it right and then the baby pees on her other leg; then you get that sorted and dress her and she spews down the back of her outfit on to the back of her harness; then you get to undress and redress her again and it's past 11pm and she's overtired and potentially hungry again because she just pooped, pee'd and spewed all her food out.

That's what.

Cot

Saturday night, the baby had her last feed at 11.30pm.

Then 1.00am.

Then it's all a jumbled mess where she was fed twice and resettled a few times at 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, 7am, 8am and 10am.

When she was ready to nap, we put her in her cot. I'm not sure why, but I think it stemmed from both the husband and I wanting to teach her a bit of a lesson.

And the she napped for two hours (pretty much previously unheard of).

When we put her to bed at 11 last night, we kept our fingers crossed. Then she fed at 2.30am and we cursed her out.

And then she slept until 8am until I woke and went to check on her and then bumped the baby monitor which started to play music which woke her up. The husband resettled her then, and again at 9am. She fed at 10am, and after an hour or so of laying in with us, went back in her cot for her second two hour nap in two days.

I also had myself a 2 hour nap.

Aside from the small part of me that's worried she could be unwell with all this sleep, I am ecstatic with the cot. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Post Operation

The operation went seemingly well.

It took an hour and 8 stitches, but I came home the same night - on the one hand its a shame to have missed my 'free' night's sleep, but better for the baby and the husband that I was here.

I can do 3/4 of the things I need to - just can't pick up / hold / change the baby. We lay her on the bed or a feeding pillow to feed and sometimes I just sit with her until she needs something (then the husband comes to rescue us).

It doesn't hurt (yet?) but is frustrating to be slow at stuff now. The painkillers they gave me aren't suitable for breastfeeding, so I hope it doesn't start to hurt.

We're also getting used to having our own ideas on how things 'should' be done. I'm sure there's more on this to come....!

Operation

I have to fast from midnight tonight in preparation for a trip in to hospital.

I have a 'tumour' in my finger - basically there is a bump that they don't know what it is but think it's vascular. It grew a little while I was pregnant and has grown a bit more since then so I am keen to take it out.

On the plus side, I have to stay in hospital overnight, so I should get an okay sleep. It will also be nice to find out what the lump is and to not have to worry about it.

On the bad side... where to start?!
 - My whole hand is meant to be in plaster for at least two weeks. Hello, helpless.
 - Stitches / pain / scary surgery....
 - The anesthetic will be in my blood for 24 hours so I will be pumping and dumping that milk... I also wonder if I'm going to leak everywhere while I'm knocked out!

I've asked the husband to come and sit with me, and to bring the baby. I'm very lucky in that he's able to take time off work to care for me and the baby, so it will be nice to have this last bit of time where I can easily hold/feed the baby - I'm not allowed to get the plaster cast wet, so I will be somewhat limited in my baby interaction (if I can't get water on it, I surely can't get milk / poop / etc on it).

We'll see how it all goes - be right back!

Solid start

We started solids with the baby last week.

Sweet potato - she wasn't that in to it. She kinda got the idea, but had a pretty consistent gag reflex to it. They say this is pretty common (I mean, if you only drunk for your whole life and then had a solid in your mouth, you'd probably be pretty tempted to pull a grumpy face and cough it back up), but she never really seemed to enjoy it. Though I was doing my damndest to make it fun and entertaining, so I was totally cheering her on as she was trying to expel it back out.

Farex - this is meant to be like liquid gold for babies (full of iron!) but everyone I know that has given it to their baby reports that they don't like. Her response was pretty much the same as it was for the sweet potato - a bit of coughing, starting to turn away after a while, cracking it after not too long.

Potato - wow. This was the first time she actually didn't retch straight away. She opened her mouth like she does for her dummy or when she's trying to jam a toy in there. She smiled all the way through. She probably ate half of her teeny tiny container of. I tell you what - I did the right thing by gorging myself on hot chips while I was pregnant!

We've also given her pear in a mesh bag a few times - she does love it. To a point. Then she gets cranky that all the sucking is not actually giving her anything. It's also a bit naughty because until our success with the potato I was  worried that we'd have to stop the solids for a week to give her tastebuds a break and start back with plain tasting veg all over again - you're not supposed to give babies sweet stuff too early because then they favour only sweet things and won't eat other stuff. I did try a piece of apple too, but didn't really think about how tart it would taste to a baby until my dad pointed that out. Oops!

Paused

Apologies for the dead air over here!

I just reread Thursday night's post and can see how tired I was.

Thursday, baby didn't nap a lot, she went 36 hours between poops, she was still getting over her needles and she was only feeding in two minute bursts. By the time we got home from dinner with the husband's family, she was well and truly jack of it. She would switch at the drop of a hat between dozing, crying, smiling and giving just THE saddest face. We gave her some panadol and settled her down to sleep, and she was okay.

Friday was better. We still gave her panadol at the end of the day when she went totally ratty, but she took the day a lot better. I went out to dinner with friends and was able to relax a bit, and concentrate on normal adult talk rather than freaking out about my poor baby.

She's pretty much back to normal now.

She's getting used to having just her arms wrapped when she sleeps, rather than her whole body (we're not allowed to wrap her legs as it pushes her legs towards each other - this is the only restriction on how he hold her). This is even quite timely as it's getting warmer.

She's kicking and stretching and moving her legs pretty well too - perhaps her muscles are loosening out.

We've had her on her tummy a few times - now we're sure to prop up her front half, otherwise she tips down towards her face. She even looked like she was trying to scootch forward this morning.

She had her first sponge bath this evening. She was happy because she LOVES having her clothes taken off. I don't know what's caused it, but whenever you pull clothing on or off her head, she gives the biggest grin. I am hoping we will get permission in the near future to be able to take the harness off for an hour and give her a real bath, so she can stretch and we can get her properly clean. Although I don't know how'd she react to having the harness put on again.

She spends her day  in a size 0 short sleeved/pantless onesie (she had just moved up to 00 this week), with socks and a bib. The weather is not too bad so her arms don't get cold, a lot of her leg is covered with harness and the socks keep her feet warm. The bib is handy in that we don't have to change her clothes too much, but also limits how wet she can get the harness (to limit it chafing her skin).

It's not so bad - it really helps that she is happy enough.

Hip

We were not just being hypochondriac's.


The right hip demonstrates dysplasia. There is reduced femoral head coverage at 40% and the alpha angle is reduced at 45y. Ossification centre however is identified within the femoreal head.


The degree of change on the right hip would warrant active treatment with a Pavlic harness.


The baby is now in her harness.

The ultrasound went well - she stayed still and happy for 95% of it. She didn't poop on the table. She engaged the scanner and the doctor with her raspberry skills.

I couldn't tell anything while they were scanning, I was trying to keep her entertained and happy. Once she had finished, the scanner stood up and said she was just going to check it with the doctor. When I told her that I'd put the nappy on her, she said that I could just cover her with the towel as they like to kick around and the doctor wouldn't be a minute.

As soon as she left the room, I knew.

The Dr told us the baby would need to be harnessed for at least 4-6 weeks. Her hip socket is meant to be like an egg in an eggcup, but her right eggcup isn't quite right. He called my GP and he said she would explain more.

We saw the GP yesterday and she called through to the pediatrician. She explained that it really doesn't bother the babies - it tends to upset the mothers more. I told her I was glad to be getting it sorted now, in the hopes that it would all be done and dusted before Christmas.

We saw the pediatrician this morning. He explained that it was lucky that we caught it. Normally, they don't bother about checking just for skin folds. When he re-examined her he noticed that one leg looks slightly shorter than the other. Had this been the 6 month check, he probably wouldn't have bothered getting it scanned. He indicated that there is a higher occurence in girls, though he didn't say what might have caused it as such. She will be in the harness for at least 3 months, with a checkup ultrasound just before Christmas (halfway through) to ensure it's getting better rather than worse. If it's not getting better then we'll need to look at 'other options'. I don't know what they are. He mentioned that there are 1-2% of children that have a hip problem that evolves - it isn't there when they are born but gradually gets worse. I don't know if this is her. He called the physio to check that they had a large harness as she was 'a bit chubby'. He later explained that this is because most babies are put in to the harnesses at 6 weeks of age (she showed no signs at 6 weeks). He also commented that I was doing really well with feeding her - she 'looks like a formula fed baby'.

We saw the physio at lunchtime today. I sat in the car and gave the baby a bottle feed while we waited and then took a last 'harness free' photo. We had already made sure she had a few 'last' baths - by the time she's allowed out, she'll be too big for the baby bath.

The physio was lovely and understanding. She told me that she hasn't had a session where the baby gets the harness put on and the mother doesn't cry. Quite often, the baby will cry. I didn't cry. Baby didn't cry. She told me that the 40% is not so bad. She also told me that if it hadn't been picked up, she'd be needing a hip replacement in her 20's.

It's not really so bad. We can't take it off her. If she gets it dirty, we have to clean her in it. We have to facewasher wash her. We will have to put cornflour in her folds and makes sure the harness doesn't get wet or her skin can get (something that I can't remember, but red and shiny and then heaven knows what). It straps across her chest and over her arms. Her legs are up at a 90 degree angle, falling flat. We have to hold her like a koala or we can sit her on the edge of a table. We can't pull her legs together. We can't use her feet to change her nappy. We can't put her on her sides. We have to encourage her on her belly with her funny leg position and she doesn't like it. She can't straighten her legs, but she can kick them out. She should be able to wear pants, but they have to be a size larger and loose so they don't pull her legs together.

She saved her tantrum for when she was home. Her cry was a really angry cry. She is so frustrated.

That's the hardest part.

More chitter chatter

I've been making an effort to speak to the baby more. And I think it's paying off.

When she's awake, she's making a fair amount of noise (in a good way) and I'm doing all I can to encourage her - talking back to her like shes making sense, copying her, or telling her she's not making sense.

I am now that woman that walks around the shops talking nonsense to a baby.

Feed the baby

The baby and I travelled country this weekend with some of my family for a family reunion.

A pleasant surprise was how well she slept in the portacot that the hotel provided - 12:30-6 and 6:30-9:30.

An unpleasant surprise was how vocally she was opposed to the idea of being covered with a light wrap to be fed. I tried to feed her after dinner at our table at the back of the room - I was sitting with my parents, my three brothers and two of their partners, so wasn't particularly interesting in whipping out a boob. Well. She was VERY clear that she didn't want the wrap on and so she wouldn't eat.

I then tried her in the 'parents room' of the club (a disabled toilet with one of those wall change stations) but it was so bright that she just stared around and smiled.

I then managed to feed her in a storage room to the side of a stage, between a bin and a mattress.

I felt like the phantom of the opera.

But at least she ate!

Dear Baby - Month #4

Dear baby,

Today, you're four months old. You're currently laying on me, making it a little hard to type - but I shouldn't really complain, it's nice in its own way that I can get you to settle a lot of the time when others can't.

You had your four month needles today. I was a little worried about it because I knew you have more of an idea of pain now - I accidentally clipped your thumbnail too short last week and you made it very clear that you were in pain. And even though it only lasted half a minute or so, you were putting little blood dots on your cheek and your bib and your outfit for half an hour, and my guilt lasted well in to the night. So far, you've not been too bad today. Last time, you were a bit ratty on the Wednesday, so I'll try not to count my chickens too early.

Sleep this month has been a little worse than last month. You did have two good nights when we were down the coast but it must have been the sea air. Last night was the worst in a while - you woke up six times between 2 and 6am. Each time, you were crying with your eyes closed and settled as soon as I popped a dummy in - I'm blaming gas.

As the months go on, my 'bad' days are fewer and further between. You go roughly two hours between naps, and we're getting better at making use of this time - you're better at sitting in your chair while I tidy, or you're happy enough in the pram. We play more, now that you grab on to toys and can steer them towards your mouth, and you've restarted your raspberry noise which brings an extra level of chattiness with you. You're starting to copy the noises we make sometimes - you were imitating my 'yeah!' noise after each raspberry yesterday, because I made it for you each time you stuck out your teeny tiny tongue.

Tomorrow, you're getting an ultrasound on your hips for potential hip displaysia. I hope it's nothing. But all we can do is see what they say. Maybe you're just like your mummy and prone to hypochondria?

We've started solids now too. In the last few days I've given you some pear in a mesh chewing bag on two different occasions - you were a big fan of it! Yesterday you even cried when it was no longer in your mouth. It's pretty crazy to know that you're piecing together that cry = unhappy, not just cry = everything that you are feeling. We were advised to start solids from four months to help us out while I'm in plaster this month - because we had no potato or rice cereal in the house, your first actual solid was sweet potato. You weren't that big of a fan... but then, I can't really compare it to anything else as it's the first time you've had anything other than breast milk to actually eat! We'll try the rice cereal on Thursday, then I vote for potato before we look at greens.

Your feeding has sped up, and we can get you fed and changed within half an hour, 90% of the time. This gives us more play time, and also lets me feel less of a dairy cow, and more able to 'enjoy' feeding time, rather than resent the fact that I'm parked for an hour with only two hours of 'free' time before I have to do it again.

It's hard for me to step back and see what has been most the most important events this month. You're doing lots of little new things across lots of different skill steps. You had your first laugh, though just the once - there's been a few 'almost' laughs since then, but not quite the same. I hope we get more of this before Christmas!

I'm hoping that this month will also bring on the rolling - though to be fair, I need to get you on the floor more for that to happen. Maybe that will be my deal with you... you sleep more and I'll help you develop?

I put you in your bassinet after that last paragraph and now I can hear you raspberrying through your dummy - you're awake.

Best go shower so I can be in bed to feed you again, in hope of settling you down for the night....!

Scanning

We had the doctor's appointment earlier this week, and baby is going in to get her hips ultrasounded on Tuesday.

The GP didn't say anything either way about whether she thought it would be an actual issue.

I don't know if that's good or bad or neither, so I'm trying not to think about it.

Instead I'm thinking about how on earth are they going to keep her still/in place while they zoom in on her? And if she'll wreck the scanning table (as she's prone to do when she has her pants off for any extended period of time)? And what if she gets hungry halfway through?

Spots

I was cutting the baby's nails earlier in the week, and just as I got to the last finger - she moved.

I cut her nail too short and clipped some of the skin on her finger.

She knew what was going on.

She let out an angry, hurt cry.

It's 'funny' to see/hear these things and know (to some degree) what she means. Like it was a very specific 'that hurt!!!' cry.

She seemed fine very quickly. Me not so much. It looked so sore and it spotted blood on everything she touched (her new cupcake onesie, her bib, her cheek, her belly). I had to bandaid it and put a sock on it and keep apologising over and over.

I guess it was going to happen eventually. I'll just need to wait until she's asleep until I do it again!

Turnaround

Baby has started to feed a lot shorter. She's still having 6 or so feeds a day, but there's less than 15 minutes feeding time in total, meaning we have a turnaround of about 30 mints in the feed-change-feed cycle.

She can now stay awake for an hour and a half to two hours before she gets to her tired phase.

She falls asleep a lot quicker, mostly by herself (with the dummy! Now I know why people love them!).

She can hold herself in a sit when I hold on to her legs.

When I put her in my lap facing me, she can hold her head up off the ground like in a mini-crunch.

When I tickle under her arms chanting 'ticka-ticka-ticka' she smiles and coo's and curls up her body.

She looks at things and you can tell she's actually looking at them.

Family, friends, nurses - they've all commented on how she looks for me / tracks me around a room.

She really is growing and changing so quickly.

She's my little girl!

Huggies

Yesterday, baby slept through until 7am, and then again until 11. Meaning I also got to have a good sleep.

When I heard her stirring I got up to check in on her - she was laying in her bassinet, a bit goofy smile on her big goofy face.

It was so nice a change from the day before. I swooped her up in my arms and went for a total Huggies-ad-style hug.

She stunk of poop, but it was really sweet nontheless.

Grey

Yesterday was a bad day.

Not only was there a snake in the yard that I thought had bitten my teeny-tiny dog, but the baby was in a mood. She fed often, but only in short spurts. She spat up a lot. She would cry like she was gassy, but straighten out like a board when I tried to burp her. She cried for no reason and for no solution.

It got to late in the day and I called the husband to see when he would be home, he said he would be leaving shortly. And I set off to walk the baby through the house and had the picture in my head of my hand slapping down on a big, red 'too hard' button. Like if there was one, it would have been pressed.

I lay down on the bed with her as the sun set. She lay over one arm and screeched. And I realised that I couldn't really think clearly. Like there was a swampy fog of gray rising up.

I lay my other arm over her belly and settled in the pillow.

And then she sucked on the dummy and started to fall asleep.

I don't know what the grey was, but it was the first time I started to feel like all of this was swallowing me up. Slowly, but surely.

It wasn't long before the husband got home and could see how I was feeling. She was still cranky, but he was lighthearted. He could sense it was a bad day and he's been great about keeping her occupied.

She didn't sleep well on Sunday night, so I didn't sleep well either.

I'm writing this on Monday and publishing on Tuesday

I'm hoping that when I read this, published, I can look back with a knowing smile that it was just 'one of those days'.