Squeak squeak

We had the baby down on the tiles a lot while we were on holiday, encouraging her to explore and make her way around, and work on her 'worming'. And to do weird stuff.

One afternoon as the husband was napping, she backed herself up to the ottoman and started rocking back and forth on her hands and knees (as she is want to do). Each time her butt hit the ottoman, the legs would squeak as they dragged across the tiles - "squeak... squeak... squeak...squeak...". Then there was a pause while she backed herself back up to it again, and off she went again. And again. And again.

Another afternoon (funnily enough, the husband was napping again!) I was trying to take a photo with the phone to post to the internet for my family, when she started behaving like a dog. She would put the strap of our backpack in to her mouth, pull backwards on her hands and knees, and shake her head. When the strap fell out, she would shake her head like 'no, that's wrong', and then put it back in her mouth and start shaking it again.

I showed the husband when he woke up, and he was perplexed as I was.

Until we were on the plane on the way home and he remembered he was playing that same headshaking game with her and the toggles on his hoody before we even left for holidays. Thanks for that one, honey!

New hobby

Crawling in the bath.

Awesome.

Like a baby in the bath isn't already dangerous enough, then she has to work out that she loves to swing her feet behind her to she can flop forward on to her belly and get her face even closer to the water.

Weeeeeeeeeee.

Sometimes me

With all of the baby's new developments and changes and growth, it's nice to know that sometimes she does want me.

We caught the bus in to the city one afternoon, and it took over an hour which way (we forgot to check how long it would actually take). She sat with the husband, but she just wouldn't settle with him. And she'd look over at me. And she'd whinge a little more.

And once she was on my lap, she went straight to sleep.

Sometimes, she just wants her mummy.

Pool boat

The baby had her first dip in the pool while on holiday.

She was a bit unsure at first - as I got in to the kids pool with her, there was a it of whimpering and looking around. But then she warmed to it.

But once the husband got her, she had a ball. He pulled her backwards across the pool like a tugboat on her back 'ch ch ch ch ch ch' and then "WOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he would rush her towards me on her belly and she came hurtling towards me ready to give me a big kiss.

She loved it. We did it over and over and over again, each time we got in the pool.

Unfortunately, the pool toy I bought for her was one that she didn't warm to. A little inflatable boat with a shade cover, that hooked on to me as well. I thought after a while she would warm to it, but no. Perhaps she didn't feel as safe 'out there' by herself? She was quite happy once she was back tight in arms.

Flying around

The flight up to Cairns was not too bad, but not too great.

Our flight up to Sydney was delayed by almost an hour, so the baby got a cheeky feed in the 'parents room' of the airport, which was me sitting on a sink. She also hadn't had a nap all morning, and was hungry and thirsty. And probably a little confused as to what on earth was going on.

As we were on the plane getting ready to take off from Sydney, the baby started getting antsy and whingy. We tried the teething gel and butt pats, but it didn't get any better. In fact, it got worse. The nurofen didn't help either.

For the first half hour of the flight, she was 'that baby' that people complain about after a flight.

Luckily, she passed out for 45 minutes after that. And the guy sitting next to us was really understanding (even though he'd been awake for something like 30 hours after flying in from Thailand). And she was buckets of sunshine as soon as we landed!

Urgh

I just noticed the baby open her mouth when the little dog came up to her.

Please please please please let that just be a coincidence, and not a result of one/both of them licking the other....!

What would wee do?

I was at the shops the other day, buying nappies for our holiday, when I saw a mum pushing a stroller alongside her two young daughters (maybe 4 and 6 years old).

One was chasing a balloon, the other had one hand on the stroller, the other in that 'I need to pee' place.

And she was telling her mum that she needed to pee, while the mum was telling her to hurry.

She was a youngish mum, and I thought doing quite a good job of herding her kids to the car.

Then, halfway through another chorus of "Mum! I need to wee! Mum! I need - " she stopped. And I turned. Just in time to see the young girl freeze and just pee herself, and her stockings and skirt.

I think the mum handled it amazingly well - she saw me looking and called out 'we're having an accident!', and I offered her a plastic bag that I had sitting under my stroller.

But as I walked in to the shop, it got me thinking about what would I have done.

Logically, I would hope that I would take my daughter to the bathroom.
But then, I know it would be a hassle to herd three kids back in to the shopping centre once you're finally done shopping.

I think I'm planning to copy what I think my parents did with me. Myself and my brothers were made to go to the bathroom before we left the house, even if we didn't need to.

This is probably why I can't remember how my parents managed us all in public bathrooms (did the boys go in to the girls?).

This is also probably why I have to go to the bathroom before I leave somewhere, even if I've only been five or ten minutes earlier.

But then, it should cut down on the chances my daughter will pee herself in the middle of a carpark.

Now you clap

I mentioned before that the baby 'learnt' how to clap.

It never progressed much past the crazy 'I'm banging invisible cymbals together and it's AWESOME' thing, but for a while there it was like she had forgotton how to do it, and thought I was a crazy woman just sing-yelling 'clap clap clap! clap clap clap!' at her at random intervals.

But, of late, she's picked it up again.

And she's put her own little twist on it.

Now, if she's sitting on your lap, she grabs on to your thumbs and makes YOU clap. Bizarre!

Although, I guess it makes sense - the amount of time I (and others!) have spent staring at her with a super happy smile while we clap her hands together, she's probably thinking she's helping us be happy.

Bath win

... and on the topic of baths.

It only took me months of sitting next to the bath (and years of my life as someone who has used a bath!) to work out how to sink bath toys completely.

I'm not sure how it took me so long to work out how to tilt the airhole to the top and to squeeze the toy underwater until no more air bubbles come out (thus anything going back in will be water), but I did it.

And I felt like a champ!

Still sitting

Following on from the baby's newfound 'hey, I'm just sitting here like a big kid' thing, she's picked up a new habit that I think combines it with a sense of self preservation.

She is struggling against me laying her on her back in the bath.

Tuesday night was the first time it happened. We were running through her in bath routine as usual (put in bath sitting up, lay back to wash face, sit up and shampoo, lay back and rinse, sit up and wash upper body, lay back to rinse and wash lower half of body, sit up and play), when as soon as I went to start step two, she threw her hands behind her, locked her elbows, and looked at me with a slightly worried expression on her face.

Um, what?

When did you become this person, baby?

Where is my pliable, cleanable, plaything?

It takes a little more juggling, but I can get there in the end - I'm just making sure I explain what we're doing and why, in the hopes that her sense of understanding will magically leap forward, and her sense of willingness will let me continue with what I need to do.

I get headstrong, but I wasn't expecting so many signs of this so early!

Just sitting

(I should clarify that these posts are being written before we go on holiday - we leave on the 20th, so these are written before today. You might have noticed a post of dot points that started with 'girl who peed herself' - this is because I had been collecting dot points of things to post about, and hit 'publish' rather than 'draft'. Oops.)

I was sitting at the computer the other day while the baby was napping, checking in on her monitor every so often to see when she would wake up.

There was a flash of movement on the screen, and of course I freaked out, because that is my job as a mother.

Then I realised I was looking at the back of her head on the monitor, but something wasn't quite right. So I went in to investigate.

And I found my baby - my tiny little helpless baby - sitting up in her bed, playing with her blanket like it was a completely ordinary thing to do.

I have no idea how she got in to that position as I haven't seen her do it any other time. But it was freaking adorable to have her turn her head as I walked in, then tilt her head and give a massive grin from behind the dummy, then go back to playing with the blanket.

Dad dad dad

The title pretty much gives it away, right? The baby has her second word: "dad".

It comes as no surprise - each time she would start with "bub bub bub" and the husband was home, he would interrupt her with "dad dad dad!" or "dad?" or start a game of "baby, daddy, baby, daddy" as he pointed to her and to himself (until a little throat clearing reminded him that there was someone else in the room who, you know, might like her daughter to say her title, seeing as she does the whole 24-hours-a-day-of-care-for-over-nine-months-now-plus-gestation-time thing).

We thought we had heard it a few times here and there, but we weren't really sure. Then Monday night when she started her usual middle of the night cry, it sounded like she was chucking a few 'dad dad dad's in there too. But she made it pretty clear for me on Tuesday - I now have a few videos on the husbands iPad of her saying it (as well as a few videos of her crying and not saying it - more crying baby footage, hooray!).

When he came home from work, I showed him the footage of her second word. And he somewhat sheepishly stated that perhaps we can work on "mum mum mum" now.

She says it more when she is upset, and I must say, it's both a little sad and a little funny to see her crying and calling out for him when we both know he's not there. Like we can both blame him for the fact that she is upset and he'll never know. Neither will she, I guess....

Yawn

Two nights ago, the baby woke up just before 2am, crying out.

I waited a minute or two, then decided I go in and check her dummy was in.

It was, and she was just crying around it, so I picked up her and her 'lovey' (a bear holding a pink blanket) to settle her. Of course, she kept yelling for a while. And then?

*yawn*

Cue adorable peaceful baby yawn.

Then cue more screaming, like that didn't just happen.

Um yeah, baby? If you're able to stop and yawn in the middle? Your game is up.

Comprehension

There are so many internal complexities that come with having a baby that no one else can comprehend.

I know what it's like to be someone without a baby and to see that sort of stuff and scoff. And to see these types of people try to explain it, or not even try to explain it, and not be able to and then just leave it at that.

I know what it's like to hear people talk about how they can't do simple things because of their baby. And  the internal monologue questioning why they can't just suck it up or deal with it.

I do find myself bouncing between these two extremes - there are times when I feel too absorbed in 'parentdom', it's like I catch myself and then swing too far the other way.

It's like I spend most of my days doing a lot and also nothing. And my internal monologue turns between congratulating myself and berating myself.

I can feel like I've accomplished so much, but that can also appear as so little.

On the one hand, I carried this growing child inside me. I grew her and then I welcomed her and then I've spent my waking moments, and my blurry, dazed, semi-wake moments, and many dreaming moments, with my whole self orbiting around her and her world.

And then, on the other, I just spend my days sitting in various places, doing simple or repetitive or time wasting things.

I speak to not many people, but I also talk to many. We talk about nothing much, but sometimes that nothing is my everything and my only thing.

I have more free time than ever, but I don't know that I'll ever have any 'free time' again. I could be using it to be doing so much, couldn't I? Shouldn't I? Would I?

There are days where I 'get it easy', but each of those days is made up of so many tasks. And I can't work out if I would have been doing them anyway if the baby wasn't here. Or if that's a bigger deal now that she's here, or if it's not a deal at all.

And if I can't quantify what I do, how can feel like I do so much, or nothing much?

What is the rest of this time going to be like?

Am I going to be like I was before? Can I? Is that better or worse or just the way it is?

It's my little bundle of burden, wrapped around my beautiful bundle of joy.

Shifting

The smallest of things can herald the biggest of changes.

As well as all of the rocking on the knees, the baby has been getting her rock on when she's sitting. Now, she quite often bends her knees so her feet are at the sides.

This is only small,  but it's the way you see kids, or even adults, sit on the floor.

A few times, she has rocked herself on to her hands and knees (and a few times on to her face), but she's getting the hang of it. All of the pieces are coming together.

Today she wormed herself over to the dogs beds a few times. Once to grab the bigger dogs toe - she was unimpressed, but very patient. Once to try to grab the smaller dog - he glared at her and turned so that his back was to her, perhaps in the hope that she would just dissapear.

She is also being covered in dirt and dog hair on the front of her clothes - I guess I need to ramp up my vaccumming. Or just buy more baby clothes. One or the other....

Bruise

The baby almost always seems to have a mark or two no her face. If it's not drool rash on her chin, she'll have scratched herself with her nails or been bitten by a mosquito.... or now, it could be a bruise/bump.

I was preparing soup and cake for family dinner tomorrow and had the baby in the kitchen with me. She was happy enough on the floor on her little sofa chair, but then she turned and tipped and faceplanted in to the fridge door.

Oops.

(Although, it could have been worse because our kitchen is tiled, so she could have hit her head on those!).

I picked her up straight away - she had started to cry pretty much immediately. And then when I picked her up she looked at me and then she buried her head in to my neck and I felt. the. worst.

I mean, she is totally going to get lots of bangs and bumps, but she was just so sad and wanted comfort from me. Even though I let it happen to her.

When the husband sat down with her to give her dinner, I saw there was a mark on her head where she banged it. And as I fed her before she went to sleep, I could feel it is slightly raised.

I wonder what it will look like tomorrow?

Mothers group

With some of the mothers from my IRL mothers group already back at work, we have a weekend catch up every so often. Because the husband was out fishing today, I offered to host - almost all of the mothers from the group were able to make it.

The babies in the group were born from May to August, so there is a bit of variation in the group, but it appears that the baby and the baby born the day before her are the most similar, and the most physically 'behind'.

There are some amazing movers in the group, both older and younger. The eldest boy turns one next month and he is just go, go, go. Even the two that are younger are crawling everywhere.

It showed me just how much babyproofing we need to do (corners! wall sockets! keyboard! laptop! bits of plastic the dog chewed! dog toys! screws! tennis ball fluff! cords! ARGH!) and also how much more on the ball I will need to be once the baby gets her moving down pat.

It was also interesting to see the shift in the baby's personality. She's quite outgoing with my family and the husband's family - she loves the attention. But whenever we get together, she gets quieter/whingier and just wants to sit on my lap. She was tired today by the time people came over, but she didn't want to stay in bed, so that didn't help. But I do wonder when or how she will change to the point where she likes interacting with other babies.

Easing away

The last few days we have been down to two naps (usually slightly longer at about an hour or so) and only three feeds. The last three mornings I have managed to stretch her out until after she has had breakfast before she is breastfed, which I'm hoping will reinforce for her that she doesn't get fed overnight so she should sleep through.

Her needs are shifting slightly from having me there because I'm the one with boobs and I can carry to and from her bed, to needing me there to play with and chatter to and watch.

Exciting.

On the move

The baby has been soooooooooooo close to crawling for a while. She is so much better at getting up on her hands and knees, and she has been rocking back and forth, but she hasn't quite worked out how to move.

The last few days, she's been lifting her whole body up, so she is balanced on her hands and toes, like a giant capital 'A'.

After her nap and afternoon tea, I sat down with her on the mat and told her that today would be the day she moves. So we played around on the mat, moving toys around just out of her reach.

It didn't work. And she was whingy. But it wasn't yet dinner time, so I sat with her and programmed the heater and put on the tv.

The baby LOVES the tv remote. I think because the buttons are nice and squishy and it's smooth and it lights up, but she loves it. Normally, I give her the other remote that I can lock, so she gets to play with buttons and put it in her mouth, but not change the channel.

The baby now does a wormy crawl for the remote, if you put it just out of her reach.

Of course, I filmed it for the husband. I was lucky that when I told her that today would be her crawling day, I grabbed the husbands iPad from the bedroom - so I also have her first attempts before it was really clear what she was doing.

Of course, because it was around 5.30 in the afternoon, she was in the middle of her 'whinge for two hours' thing that she often does, and I had to keep moving the remote just out of her reach to keep her moving, it looks like I spent the afternoon taunting her in to crawling. But it totally wasn't like that!

Excitingly, she also did her first full-on rock in to a faceplant. I was showing the husband her 'trick' after she had her bath and she got up on all fours and started to rock, but really started to get in to it. We both knew what was going to happen, and she just launched herself forward. Which is not great to see (she wasn't bothered in the slightest, but it can't have been fun!) but great in that it means she should start to piece it all together.

I'm pretty excited to see what happens tomorrow!!!

Sleeeeeeeep

3am.

Baby wakes up and calls out.

I debate whether or not to get her, so I'm standing in the middle of the cold room in the dark.

The husband comments that she might want her dummy. I shouldn't have gone in there - she is FURIOUS.

I'm not sure what it is, but she gets angriest in the middle of the night when she both wants her dummy back in but also doesn't want it anywhere near her and will fight you with the fury of a thousand suns. She may only have little hands, but she does an excellent job of swatting and dodging and screaming and pursing her mouth shut.

I finally got to sleep again after 4am. And then woke up at 5am because we have mice in the roof (ICK). Then woke up at 6.15 when the husbands alarm went off. And then 9 minutes later when it went off again after he tried to snooze but accidentally set it to BEEP BEEP BEEP instead of radio. And then at 7 when he brought her in to bed with me because she was ready to start the day, and proceeded to demonstrate this by sticking her fingers in my eyes and up my nose (a new one, don't love it) and in my mouth.

Explaining to a baby in a stern voice that okay, fine, you'll get up, but she only has herself to blame when she's older because if she'd just sleep properly then she'd have a fun mum that could expend all her energy on playing games with her and being fun, rather than being tired and grumpy.... gets you nowhere.

But, napping while the baby naps in the afternoon gets you an extra hour sleep.

Breaking down!

I looked in her mouth this morning to see if the top tooth had broken through - no luck.

BUT.

Another tooth has broken through on the bottom! That explains why she kept grabbing at her mouth below where the top tooth is coming through.

Breaking through

We think we found the cause of the terrible day last week - while feeding her lunch on Sunday, the husband noticed another flash of white in her top gum.

Tooth number five is almost through, her top right tooth.

Pleeeeeeeeeease let there be no more drama with it!

Easter Sunday

The baby's first Easter = the baby's first piece of chocolate.

She would have had a piece smaller than the size of a 50 cent piece, and she didn't react any differently to any other food - we were seated at the husband's parents table, and I think we were expecting her to go mental.

Less than three months now until she gets to have birthday cake!

Dear Baby - Month #9

Dear baby,

It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that I was writing the last one of these...

You're now 9 months old. Roughly, you've now been out and about for as long as you were growing inside me.  If we double the time you've been with us, and move backwards, we'd be at that last moment where I was just 'me'. Before I became your mum.

Apart from a one-off earlier this week, you've been remarkably well behaved. You're pretty easy going and happy most of the time, and even if you wake up on the wrong side of your cot, you're still pretty easy to work with. You were in a fantastic mood yesterday, and daddy commented on it more than once.

I forget that he doesn't get to hang out as much as we do. Whether we're doing stuff together, or doing stuff where you're with me, we're together. We spend a lot of time in each others company. We have an unspoken state of 'being'. You watch me make your lunch, you play with my hair while you feed, you grin from behind your dummy in your cot, you watch me while I change your nappy, you look up and smile while you sit in the bath. Your daddy doesn't get to have as many of these moments.

But. The time you do spend with him, you guys party hard. He chats more to you. He makes you laugh in a real way, that I just can't seem to do. He reads to you, he dresses you in his own special way, he reaches straight out to you when he comes home. And you light up when you realise he's home. You look around me to see what he is doing. You play with his stubble and study him in a way that you don't with me.

I had a dream the other night that you started to crawl. I missed your first attempt, and only just got to see you do it for a few 'steps' before you crouched like you were going to stand. And then you got up and just walked. Whether it means something or not, you were walking away from me. Perhaps it shows how excited I am about you learning to crawl (and walk), which I think will happen within the next month. But I think it also shows how I worry about missing things with you. And then how soon you will no longer be a baby.

Soon, you're going to be a toddler. Then a child, then a teen, then a young adult, then an adult. And then you're going to stay an adult, and not my baby, for 80 years or so. And you'll only have been my baby for less than a year, and that year is almost over.

A good friends baby turned 1 not long before you were born, and she had a cake in the shape of an owl from tv. She was (and still is!) obsessed with that owl. Will you have this soon? Will you have favourite things? I mean, you really, Really, REALLY love the dogs, so it makes sense. But the concept of you having favourite shows or songs right now just baffles me.

But then again, you've had a big month. Your first words (and the start of your baby talk which I just love - you sound like you're carrying on conversation with yourself, but you only have one word) and your top two teeth. You can roll both ways and you spin in circles on your mat, as well as moving backwards. You're getting up on your knees and you're starting to rock. You're starting to sleep more consistently too, which I love. You've been having occassionally longer naps too, which might help with your night sleep. You pull yourself up using the rocker or your toybox if I'm sitting with you, and you've mastered almost all the little tricks on your activity table and toy kitchen (lifting and closing the flap the table, and opening and closing the oven on the kitchen are both new talents).

Happy nine months, baby girl. Party on.

Friends and friends

In the lead-up to both mine and the husband's 30th birthdays, I found myself remembering going to an 'over the hill' party for one of my parents friends, years and years ago.

My parents have been friends with this couple for a long time - I think my mum went to school with one of them, but I know they worked together too.

I remember it always being fun when we would go there for dinner- we'd be set up in the next room, watching movies with our doonas that we brought from home while the adults sat at the table in the good room and laughed. When they came to our house for dinner, I remember the whole family helping to clean up. I remember there would be anchovy puffs for adults and puff pastry for kids, there would be top deck chocolate or after dinner mints, candles and the good tablecloth, and there would be wine and laughter and a late night.

As we've gotten older, they continue to be friends. They've been on that outer edge as we've grown up from kids to teenagers to adults and now to parents.

The husband and I have been together for more than eight years now, and we have a group of friends that have come together from going to the same college - there is a 2.5 year old, a 2.5 month old, and and an almost 10 month old in this group.

We are going to be 'those' people. We are going to be those adults that come over to visit, that always seem happy and excited, that laugh and talk loud and quickly, that ask what they learnt in school, that will set up the tv in a dim room so they can settle in to the couch with our daughter and watch movies until they fall asleep, carried out to the car for the long drive home.

Fantastic.

Handsy

The baby is getting a lot more handsy. And actually, a lot more active.

I noticed it earlier this week when we did the groceries - she was twisting and looking and reaching for things. I managed to subdue her with a bag of pine nuts (which, thankfully, she didn't manage to open).

She's using her pointer finger to touch everything she can. She tries to hook her finger in my mouth, behind my bottom teeth. She pulls at my hair and my earrings and my necklaces.

She's starting to twist more in my arms when I carry her - she likes to twist so she can face with her belly down against my arm.

She's getting even harder to feed too - the only 'decent' feed she gets is her overnight/early morning feed when she's half asleep, otherwise she just treats me like a drop in centre - she twists and looks around the room, she stops to sing and say 'bub bub bub', she drops back in for a few seconds and then off she goes again.

She's getting closer and closer to crawling - she's finally getting up on to her knees (previously, when we put her on her knees, she would just cry) and she has just started to rock back and forth over the past few days.

I am both excited and terrified by this!

Waking

Well, it didn't just pass - the baby woke up at 8pm, 10pm, midnight, 3am, 6am and 8am.

When she woke up she was still grumpy, so after breakfast she had some nurofen and went to bed - and napped for almost two hours.

After lunch, she had another two hour nap.

Had I known she would be sleeping so long, I would have had naps as well!

She is still in bed now, her third nap for the day.

I hope she sleeps well tonight!!!

Throwback

Today was the first day in a long time that I've had some uncontrollable crying from the baby.

We were out for a few hours in the middle of the day,so she didn't have a lunchtime nap, and only had a short nap in the car.

When we got home, she just wasn't happy. She wouldn't eat afternoon tea, she wouldn't play on the mat, she wouldn't lay on me and have a nap, she wouldn't keep her dummy in. She wouldn't feed properly. She wouldn't eat dinner. She was mostly happy in the bath, but whingey.

I noticed her grabbing at her bottom teeth, and the husband indicated that he saw the same thing yesterday.

But there was that moment where I stood in the middle of the family room, surrounded with crying baby and naughty dogs, that I was able to flash back to the early days. I could see how far we had come, but also can see a flash of the future baby - what a temper she will have!

I don't think I can feel or see any teeth coming through - I just hope that it passes.

Mum fit

This morning, I attended my first Mumfit class. It went really well, on a few different fronts.

It was the first time in nearly three years that I was actively doing something for exercise. It started with some running (me and a friend got to take the 'easy' option along with a few older ladies), and then a circuit of six or seven different exercises, twice through.

I loved that it was ladies-only. I've been part of a ladies only gym before, but I was fitter and stronger and healthier then. I'm feeling a bit more beat up, and I'm definitely not fit or strong or particularly healthy, so I was definitely able to appreciate it more this time.

It was also the first time that the baby was left in the car of someone other than a family member.

When the class finished and I went up to collect her, she was in the arms of the carer, with a pouty tear-stained face. Once she saw me, she started to cry loudly (the carer commented on her lungs), but I think that is because it was taking me too long to put on my jumper so that I could grab her (I didn't want to sweat on her clothes!). The carer said she liked the toys that made noise, but that she got upset when one of the other kids took her toy off her.

I guess this is pretty good for her - good to be socialising with other babies, as she doesn't really 'play' a lot at mothers group. Good for her to be with someone that's not family, and not giving her all of their undivided attention. Good for her to try new things in new environments.

And when I finished the class, I was happy that I would be able to go back, even if my friend couldn't come with me.

But I do wonder if it will be harder to leave her a second time?

Poop face

The baby has a pretty clear poop face - she glazes over, gets an internal focus, turns red in the cheeks, and grunts and pushes and strains as she gets her business done.

She was running us through this routine as we were waiting for our breakfast to arrive. We had her up on the table, trying to keep her entertained so she could stretch her legs before a big drive, and to combat the fact that she was hungry and tired.

I could smell it, so I took her in to the change table to sort her out. And then I had a mini freak out that she had terrible nappy rash - something really wasn't looking right in her nappy.

And then I realised that she was still pooping.

And what I saw next I can never un-see.

Hopefully, that's the only time in my life I need to see exactly how all that works...!