Dear baby - sixteen months

Dear baby,

You're 16 months old today, and I'm 16 weeks pregnant with your baby brother or sister. What a team we make!

We got you that haircut, and everyone is starting to notice your toddler-ish-ness. It seems that just by even-ing out (or crookedly even-ing out) those wispy strands of hair, everything you do seems older. Your running, your packing and unpacking things, the way you lay and look around while we change your pants.

Your favourite thing is still being outdoors. Daddy and I did some gardening over the weekend and you were happy to just potter around in the shade, helping put leaves in the bag, unhelping by pulling leaves out of the bag, and moving the smooth stones from the side garden bed on the pavers or the outdoor setting or the steps by the back door.

You're a min Makka-Pakka, one of the characters from your favourite show 'In the Night Garden'. I'm hoping Santa is paying attention because he'd be a cruel, cruel man not to gift you something from that show. When we turn the tv on, you say 'Gah gah!' which is how you talk about the show. You have a few ITNG books, that you point at and carry around and say 'Gah gah!' and want us to read to you. You know to say 'mi mi mi mi' in a high voice for the Pontipines, and I swear you said Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy when we were looking at that book again this morning (I always wondered how people could say they got sick of reading the same books over and Over and OVER again, but now I know).

Your language is building again. You said 'turtle' last night while we were looking at one of your bath books and it was so freaking adorable I think I made a high pitched noise. You are trying to imitate more and more words and I can't wait until you start using them more.

You love to be picked up in the kitchen (something Pa pointed out to me), to have a look around. Your daddy bought me some flowers a few weeks ago so we would sniff them a few times a day. And now, when we go outside, you stop and sniff the flowers with a little snort and a scrunched up face. You do also often pick them and put them in the basked with the clean washing or try to eat them. But you almost always sniff them first.

Your comprehension is up and running. When I say it's time to make the bed in the morning, you know it means we're going to mine and daddies room. When I ask where your shoes are you, you say 'shoes?' and go hunting for them. You know that when I say it's time to hang out or bring in the washing that we'll get your shoes and then you run to the back door so we can go outside. You stand and wait at the steps with your arm in the air so I can hold your hand as you climb up and down (and you're getting so good at it). You know when we're going to the car, ('car?') and going to check the mail. When we get back from a drive you pause for a second and then give a big shy grin - I don't know why, but you do it every time and it's adorable. When we start the day and the dogs come to greet you, you rush towards me and squeal and hide in my legs.

Of course, it's not all just you being freaking adorable. You  like to eat the dogs dry food, so a few times a day I have to pull you out of the laundry. You like to pull the wipes out from under your change table (and show me you pretend to blow your nose on them), you like to unroll the toilet paper in the ensuite, and you like to bang your toys around. When you're frustrated, you swish your arms around to knock food off your highchair or to move the toys away from you. You also reach out to scratch, which hurts my feelings. We're working on how to stop this, but I know it's because you're too little to understand how to manage those feelings.

You've continued having long naps, which is great, because I've needed them more often too.

And on that note, I'm off to lay on the couch.

I can't believe you'll be one and a half in 8 weeks time...

I love you, baby girl!

Spotty baby

This morning started in a bit of a rush. I'd woken up at midnight, 2:00, 3:30, and 5:00. It was about 6:20 and I could hear the husband fiddling around with his alarm clock. Except it kept going and going. And then I realised that it was making a clicking sound instead of playing the radio and the husband was already five minutes late for meeting his friend to ride to work.

He leapt out of bed and dashed out, being fairly quiet considering what was going on, and I heard the baby stir. I waited her out for 10 minutes before I started to get myself ready for work - by the time I'd brushed my hair and got dressed, she was quiet again. I was able to eat my breakfast in piece, and be all ready to go with five minutes to spare before I needed to leave for my sister-in-law's house (so just enough time to get her dressed and in the car).

And when I crept in to her room and took off her nappy, I noticed some spots. And then I noticed them on her legs. And then I took her shirt off and saw them on her arms and front and back.

Greaaaaaaaaaaat.

From what I could pull together online, her rash wasn't dissapearing under a glass (as far as I could tell - everything is so much more complicated when it's in relation to a baby!), so I needed to get her seen to. It probably also wasn't a good idea to take her to see her 8 month old cousin.

The earliest we could get an appointment was 9:45, so I got back out of my work gear and in to my track pants.

The doctor said her rash was like the measles, but wasn't measles. She was to keep away from babies and pregnant women (ha!). As I'd 'already been exposed' it didn't change anything for me, but the big thing was to do lots of hand washing.

Overall, she's otherwise fine. She fell on her butt when I came out of my room and closed the door, and then she sat and got sadder and sadder, but a cuddle sorted her out. After lunch, she walked over and put her head on my leg, and when I carried her to bed she rested her head against me the whole time. What followed was just over an hour of chattering in her cot and running around, and only 20 minutes of potential nap time, but that's pretty standard.

I'm glad she doesn't seem too much different - I hope it passes soon and she feels fine. And I'm so glad it's not anything worse.

Haircut!

With family photos booked in for this Saturday morning, I took the baby in for her first haircut.

It's not that she really needed one, more that her fringe would hang in her eyes and while she likes having a hairclip put in, she also really likes pulling it out. And then she really likes bringing it to you and putting her head down so you will put it back in. And then repeating. A lot.

I wasn't sure how she would go, so I was a little stressed.

She sat in the chair like a grownup with her plastic cover on.

And then she pulled it off.

And wriggled.

And kept grabbing for comb.

And scrunched up her face and blew air at the hairdresser through her nose (I'm guessing it tickled).

It got better when I sat and held her.

And it got even better when the other hairdresser came over to distract her.

But it doesn't look great.

I don't know if it's because I'm not used to it and it's kind of wonky and because she won't let me put her hair up, but it's a change.

At least she's not always looking through the mop of her fringe.

Second baby

Well, it's time you knew that we have a second 'the baby' on the way.

For ease, we might refer to the pending baby as 'the bubby'.

The bubby is due at the end of April.

For what it's worth, we haven't 'offically' told the baby about what will be happening. I've read up on sibling rivalry, I've bookmarked a few books I want to order to read to her over the coming months, and we'll be getting her her own baby doll so she can copy me during those first, few, long months.

The husband was looking after the baby today while I was napping.

The baby went to my handbag, pulled out the ultrasound pics, walked over to the recycling bin, opened the lid, and placed the pics in the bin.

Something tells me this is going to take a little bit of juggling.

(I've been keeping a daily record of the pregnancy, which I hoped to do with the baby but never got around to. I will update them here, a few at a time, so things might get a little confusing while I backfill).

An actual tantrum

Over the weekend, I thought the baby had her first tantrum.

It was late Sunday afternoon and we were playing with colouring pencils (after she'd had a go at a friends house and seemingly enjoyed it). We were also putting them in and out of the cup when she decided she wanted to start putting them in her mouth, and didn't want to be told not to. So she threw them at me. And when I put them away and told her not to throw, and wouldnt' get them for her when she pointed at them, she turned and curled up in a ball on the floor and cried.

And I patted her back and told her not to be silly and waited it out.

Then she calmed a little and wanted my water bottle. But she didn't want a drink and she didn't want to hold it and she didn't want to play with, so who knows what she actually wanted. Maybe she did, because when whatever it was wasn't happening, the tears started again.

I figured she was tired, so put her to bed. And after five minutes of noise and five minutes of silence, she was up in in her cot chatting away, ready to be up and out again.

Cue yesterday afternoon.

After spending the day with her Pa, she was in a good mood when I came home. Family tea was going to be at our house and one of my sisters in law called, so I answered. And the baby wanted to be picked up ('bup'), so I picked her up, But when I tried to put her down, she gave a big yell. So I kept holding her. And then she bit my shoulder.

I put her down, facing away from me. And. It. Began.

Tears. Teaaaaaaaaaaaaars. Sob. Teaaaaaaaaaaaaaars.

I'm glad dad was there with me.

She just stood and forced out crying and tears for a few minutes. We waited for her to calm. And when she started to calm down, she walked towards dad, had a drink and sat on his lap for a minute.

It was really interesting.

I knew I had to leave her to work it out, and I couldn't try to calm or hug her, otherwise she'd learn to cry until she got hugged.

My poor little baby is turning in to a real toddler....

Duck duck duck

The baby is still working on her talking, but is getting better at identifying certain things. She knows banana (nahnah), duck (guck) and dog (gog).

We know she can make a 'd' noise, as she does an adorable 'daddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'.

Last night while giving her a bath, the husband had her pointing at the ducks.

"Duck, bubby".

"Guck!".

"No, Duck. D-d-d-d-duck"

"G-g-g-g-guck!".

I heard you!

At family tea with the husbands family tonight, the baby had moved in to a bit of a tired silly stage. Constantly wanting to be picked up "Bup! Bup! Bup!" but then squirming and snaking her way back down to the ground as soon as you had a hold of her.

She had started to get whingy while I had a hold of her, so I said "Go get your dummy out of your bag, and I'll give it to you".

And then she slid off my lap.

Went to the nappy bag.

Pulled the dummy out of the front pocket.

And carried it back to me.

So. She understands. I need to make sure we remember this, and start use it more - it's so easy to think she is just a baby that doesn't understand and can't do a whole lot.

Dancing

They baby has been a little groover for quite some time now - any music (including podcast intro music) will have her bopping away - bending her knees, jiggling her butt, swaying her shoulders side to side, waving her arms at you.

Now, when you ask her to dance, she holds your hands and throws herself backwards so she can hang loosely as you sway her side to side.

Which is also adorable, but has caused a few close calls as she plays 'trust exercise' and hopes you catch her before she hits the floor.

Dear baby - fifteen months

Dear baby,

The fact that I'm not getting a chance to sit down and write this until a few days after the fact probably says more than I can about the pace things are moving at around here.

The walking has really taken off. So has running. Quick little spirts of speed, usually down the hallway or towards the ensuite, that also usually end with a tumble on to the carpet. You're pretty robust, and it only bothers you when you're tired, so you're a lot tougher than I was as a baby (it seems). It's so cute to lay on the bed and see the top of your fruzzy little hair bounding along behind the headboard.

This past weekend we went north for a wedding where daddy was in the bridal party. The weather was delightful but you didn't sleep well and he was caught up in wedding stuff all day and things got a bit rough for poor, old, me. The apartment was small, so we would try and get out, but then you only want to go up and down the stairs, or bang on other peoples doors, or walk through the gardens. You would have naps that lasted for 2 hours or so and then you'd be up and at them. And we didn't bring the stroller and you didn't want to be held or carried. And then I spent the whole ceremony trying to stop you eating cow poop or rushing the bridal party at the front, and then the ceremony chasing a tired a hot you through a crowd of people before we called it a night before people were even seated. You were okay on the plane, but gone are the days where you will sit and just nap on my lap.

You've taken an increased liking to your books - there is a 'shapes' one that you are particularly obsessed with, though mainly to pull the flaps completely out of the book. But you'll also wander the house with a book, holding it out for me to start reading it to you only to have you flip the pages ahead faster than I can read and then go find something else to do.

You're showing much more interest in our food than yours. You don't eat much of your weetbix anymore, so I'm going to have to do something else. Which is a bit tricky because it was one of the ways we could be sure to get dairy in to you. I've taken to having vegemite toast for morning tea and you're a big fan of that - this morning you were pointing to the bread and toaster so I got you a piece of your own - I kind of love that you're a vegemite monster like me.

You're getting more vocal - you're always making noises. You call out 'doo' for your dummy, but we're doing better at keeping it from you this month. When I tell you I'm going to run your bath, you often repeat 'ba' and smile. You know 'duck' and you even pointed one out in the book we were reading last night. You love to say 'yay!' and clap your hands which is super adorable. You're getting more accurate with your 'yes' and 'no', and you've amped up the 'mum mum mum' when you want me which is cute. You also say 'bup' for when you want to be picked up - this is my 'fault' because you used to say it, so I would repeat it, and now here we are!

You're still big on the outside - quite often when we've been out, I'll put you down in the carport so you can walk in yourself (with help on the stairs), though you often head to the carport door to head out the front. You do like to climb up and down the steps holding my hand, and I think you're getting better and better at this. Though, we took you to the beach while we were up north and you were really not impressed. As soon as your feet touched the sand (it wasn't hot) you turned around and tried to climb up my legs, calling out 'mum mum mum!!'. Perhaps we need to go to the beach more? That can't be a bad thing!

We're probably going to have to take you in for a haircut soon - your wispy hair is getting longer and down to your eyes in the front, with adorable little curls in the back. Because you hate having your hair dried properly after a bath you always wake up with a crazy hairstyle in the morning, but you're getting better at leaving in the hairclips that I put in to help you see.

You're still cheeky - you still love the toilet brush, the dog food, the dog water, your baby wipes. You're getting more and more interested in pulling out the utensils from the second drawer down - heaven help us when you can reach the top drawer. The husband noted the other week how when I tell you off you just smile, but if he does then you listen. Even when you're being naughty, you're very cute, so I need to work better at this otherwise who knows where we'll be.

You're also very sweet - I've had a few stressful moments of late that ended with me in tears. The first time it happened you watched me, then you gave me a half smile and imitated my sniffing until I stopped. The next time it was about to happen, you stopped and watched me with that half smile, like you knew what was going to happen and you wanted to help, and all was okay.

Some of your naps have been getting longer too - there have been more and more that have lasted an hour or two - a great chance for me to unwind or have a nap myself. I guess this is part of you growing older! After a few speedbumps while we were away (you were in a travel cot in our room, this didn't work for anyone) and then switching over with daylight savings, you returned to your 7.30-7.30 sleep (this works for all of us).

Speaking of, you'll be up soon, so I better finish what tidying up I can do. But I'll wait until you're up before I hang out the washing - who am I to take away some outside fun from you?

Kisses, baby - *muah!*

Up and at 'em

This afternoon I was sitting outside with my dad, watching the baby run around and generally try to get herself in trouble.

She came back over to us holding something in her hands and then stacked, just underneath the table. We waited and watched, there was no reaction from her. She just got up and went back on her way.

Dad told me how he and mum had been talking about how different I was as a baby, compared to the baby. Apparently, I was a lot softer. Dad pointed out that her stack would have resulted in a meltdown from baby-me.

When the baby was learning to walk, she would stop and drop as soon as you let go of her. And I would always tell the nurses that she was cautious like her mummy (I'm still a giant wuss).

But I wonder how much of our temperaments is nature and how much is nurture?

Because I felt like I would lose either way (either I was a wuss baby or she isn't enough of a wuss baby) I joked that it had to do with how we'd each been raised.

The husband and I have always waited to see how she reacted before rushing to pick her up or soothe her. And when she has a fall that warrants in a bit of a shock, we'll make sure she's okay, but not go over the top in trying to soothe her. We're both pretty realistic in that she's going to hurt herself every which way at least once, so it's better for her to get up and get over it.

But it makes you wonder if things could have gone differently?

(That said, I'm very happy with her rough-and-tumble-ness!)

Cuddles

The baby has this really adorable habit of giving cuddles to her 'teddy' - one of the many blanket things with heads on them that we have scatted between our house, my eldest brothers house and my parents-in-laws.

Sometimes she'll give cuddles to random things too - she pulls it in both hands up under her chin and scrunches her hands and shoulders up towards her face.

This afternoon we were playing with duplo on the floor and she stepped over in to my lap (as she often does when I'm on the floor) and grabbed on to my shoulder.

"Cuddles for mummy?" I asked.

Oh, you guys. She hugged in to me and lay her cheek on my chest, just like a proper cuddle.

I am going to get a lot of practice in on this one!

These boots were made for walking

Now that the baby is up and off and around everywhere, she is ruining her socks. This is not helped by her newfound status of being 'the outdoor type' and keen to get out in the dirt and grass and up and down the stairs in our backyard.

I took her in to the specialty kids shoes shop to get fitted, as every attempt I've made to fit her for shoes has resulted in us losing said shoes - the baby has (adorable) chubby feet.

When she sat up on the step in the shop (just like the big kids!) the lady hrm'd as she set her tiny baby feet in the foot measurer. "She's not even a size three. I'm not sure what we'll have."

It took three pairs of shoes, and three trips out to the back storeroom, before they found a pair that 'fit' her. And by 'fit', I mean there is probably another third of the length of her foot left as gap up the top. Her feet are also wide, and chubby on the top, so one pair was too narrow, and the other pair cut in to her chubby little feet tops.

Her shoes are little cream t-bar shoes, with a heart on each toe. There are also cutouts in the toes, so she'll be able to wear them in summer.

As the baby toddled around the store trying them out, she kept getting caught up in her steps.

"Does she normally turn her feet in like that?".

Yes, the baby walks with a bit of a turn-in, but it's mostly her right foot, and not normally so noticeable. It was probably exaggerated by the fact she was kind of wearing clown shoes.

After paying $49.95 (!! More than I spend on shoes for me!!!!) the lady suggested we bring her back when she needs new ones, and they'll get her some with extra support, in the hopes that it will help her gait.

I hope it has nothing to do with her hips, and that a bit of practice sorts her out.

Powering on

The baby's walking has really improved over the last few days.

When I got home from work on Friday, the husband told me how much better she was, that I'd be amazed at how she is going.

She isn't just taking a few steps now - she will stand and purposefully walk places. She pushes the computer chair around, she walks through the kitchen, she stands and bounces and dances and holds on to things for like a minute without moving.

The last few weeks, the husbands parents have been meeting us at the markets on a Sunday mornings. They were pretty excited to see her just get up and go. Of course, this makes it a little harder in that she knows where she wants to go and expresses her hurt feelings if you stop her. Of if you want to keep her in stroller. Or if you don't want to walk with her to our bedroom so she can play with the toilet brush.

When they came past this afternoon to help the husband build a bike rack, his dad told me that he actually got  a little teary watching her get up and go. And when I told the husband how lovely this was, he told me he had butterflies on the Friday watching her get around.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a toddler.

Two more teeth

Teeth numbers 13 and 14 have poked through - her top two eye teeth.

She's been red cheeked and poopy, wanting her dummy more, and insistent on chewing the car keys when we are out and about. I should have clued on to it earlier, but it wasn't until someone in my online mothers group mentioned her baby's eye teeth are through that I thought to check.

I think there's only the two bottom eye teeth, then it should be a few months before her massive molars come through.

Butts

The baby has an adorable baby butt.

But, it's a sign I've probably been patting it too much when she stands up in the bath and starts patting her own butt, before I get a chance to.

Dear baby - fourteen months

Dear baby,

There's always something going on these days, isn't there!

You caught a cold last week after we went to dinner with friends (who had sick babies). You were really unsettled for the first time in many months - poor daddy had to get up six or seven times between midnight and 6am to resettle you, then you were snotty and stuffed up for a few days. I caught it off you on the Tuesday and at the time of writing this (I'm a bit naughty and writing this a few days late) I am still all stuffed up and feeling gross. So thanks for that.

You took your first steps in the last month, and you have taken quite a few more since then. Being cautious, like your mummy, you much prefer to walk without the risk of falling, so you prefer to be holding our hand or pants legs as you toddle along. It's hard to tell if you're walking more or less since that day - you do take little steps between the tv and the couch and the coffee table, but if we let go and ask you to walk you are more likely to drop and crawl. You are getting a lot better with your walker though - just the other day you had it turning in all directions.

One of your favourite things at the moment is to crawl around outside. The weather is warming up and you'll be harness free this summer, so I'm looking forward to getting out and about with you some more. A few weeks ago I took you out the front of the house with me, and you were very unimpressed. You didn't like the feel of the grass on your hands or your feet (and you stepped on a rose thorn), so you would come over to me and sort of stand on my lap to use me as a barrier between yourself and the ground. Since then we've gone out the front and the back a few times more and you're enjoying it much more. You like to powercrawl down the driveway (not such a good idea, what with the road and the hoons that speed up and down it) and you like to crawl up and down the steps at the side of the backyard. You also like to try to climb the big stone steps in the backyard and this freaks me out as they are giant and I know there is going to be a day when you fall down there and I dread to think about it.  Annoyingly, the dogs have also made the back yard a bit dusty (from all their hooning around) and a bit poopy, so we're going to need to keep an eye on that.

You seem to have become a bit more obsessed with your dummy, and we're not sure what this means. It could just be that you are better at communicating and knowing what you want know, and you like it as much as you always have but can tell us now. Either way, I try and distract you and/or hide them, so that you don't use them unless it's time for a nap or a sleep.

You have also become more obsessed with your daddy. Somewhere, you picked up that you should call him 'Dad-deeeeeeeeeeee' with a cheeky smile - of course, this usually gets him to respond 'yes, bub-beeeeeeeeeeee?'. Whenever he is is home you just want to be with him. The other night when I got home from work he was trying to cook you some fish and feed you dinner, but you were just crying in your highchair. I got you out and asked you what you wanted, and you just crawled over to him, crying, and pull on his pant leg. As soon as he picked you up you were as happy as Larry. This always brings me back to the time we were at Nana and Grumpa's house and daddy wasn't able to settle you, but I was. And how upset daddy was that he couldn't help you out. And now, it's the opposite.

Because you're a lot more active, you need more supervision and more interaction. You still love to be pushed on your bike, but you also love getting in to the ensuite and splashing around with the toilet brush. Ew. You're as quick as ever to get in to the laundry and dog food and water, or to be in your room pulling the baby wipes and nappy liners out and all over the floor. You're always on the move and it's a rarity to be able to sit with you still on our laps now - this is going to make it harder when we go out as a family (at the moment we only really go out together to the markets on a Sunday morning, where you can crawl over the place).

Your appetite is still going strong - we've had to modify a  few things, so now you get your own spoon for breakfast, yoghurt and fruit tubs. You like to splash the spoon around in there, and every so often you'll get it to your mouth, sometimes even with food on it. Breakfast takes a bit longer too - you switch between wanting your breakfast, then pushing it away and wanting to stick your spoon in to my cereal. Then it carries on back and forth until I've finished my breakfast and you decide you've had enough.

You picked up a bit of a rash on the back of your neck too - I had just started getting your dinner ready when I noticed you scratching the back of your neck - you'd scratched it all red, and there were little blood spots. This brought on a quick visit to the chemist for some steroids and moisturiser lotion. It seems okay at the moment, and you like have the cream rubbed on your back and neck each night and morning, so I hope it passes quickly.

I finally got some clips to stay in your hair too - little bobby pins I bought for me, but that work just as well on you. And because they're nice and bright they help reinforce to others that even though you have mulletty whispy hair, you're my baby girl. I don't know when we'll take you in for a haircut, or where, or how they'll cut it, but that is still a while away I think.

You're going to be awake soon, so I better go.

Keep well, baby girl!

Fathers Day

Today was the husband's second Fathers Day.

He got a little sleep in, then surprised in bed by the baby and I and a bag of gifts. Although, the baby didn't seem to understand, and she opened most of the gifts for her daddy.

He got a 30 minute meals cookbook, a book on head massage, and a 'Spot loves his Dad' book. He got a few jumpers (he has been exercising and watching his meals, so he has lost weight and never seems to have enough jumpers), some singlets, a coffee-grind-collecter and a toblerone. He felt very spoilt.

We went to the markets (as we do every Sunday) and we had a cinnamon scroll after our egg / egg & bacon rolls. The baby was in a good mood all day, until she woke up from her second nap.

She woke up in a cranky mood, and she cuddled in to the husband and looked really put out as he held her. Then, while I was changing her nappy, she started to bawl. She was reaching for her back bottom teeth (her 12th tooth came through, so I hope that's it for a hear or so!) and screaming, but I soldiered through. Until the point where she was crying so hard that she started to choke, and I had to hold her upside down over her change mat as she coughed up frothy spit bubbles.

I have no idea what that was about.

After the husband and I soothed her and I got her pants on, she had some nurofen and afternoon tea and seemed just fine for the rest of the afternoon.

I am glad I did that first aid course - I knew I needed to tip her over and bang on her back, and while I was doing it I was scanning my brain for what I needed to do next (next step was to call the ambulance, I was scared it might be some kind of fit).

I hope that doesn't happen again.

Check those hips

A few weeks ago I was wasting time on the computer, when I should have been doing something productive. I clicked through the online paper and saw an article about a doctor needing to be retrained. I clicked through and discovered it was the doctor we have been seeing for the baby's hip dysplasia. Awesome.

Of course, the husband and I were a little worried, so we booked an appointment with the pediatrician, so we could see if we should get a referral to someone else. The appointment wasn't until almost two months after we called in, but then I got a call this afternoon giving me one hours notice to bring the baby in for a cancelled appointment.

The pediatrician went around in circles a few times, but we decided that we would wait another 6 months before we take any more action. He said that her results and her hips are good for her age. Not great, but good. He said that another xray at 18 months would give us more of an idea on how she is going. When we told him we were relieved that we would get the check then, he explained that that was always his plan - he always xrays babies at 18 months. We didn't have another appointment or an xray referral from him, and the orthopedic surgeon also hadn't said anything about an 18 month check, so that's a little confusing, but either way it's a good result.

If we were to take her to Sydney, it is unlikely they would do anything apart from tell us to come back in 6 months. As it is, the pediatrician said that if the baby needed surgery, he would go through Sydney anyway, so we're no worse off. So at this stage, we will be taking the baby in for an xray in early January, with a follow up appointment with our pediatrician, and a referral to Sydney if we want.

Hopefully, the next few months of walking will do her hips some good.

Of course, he did ask questions about the shape of her head towards the end of the appointment, but he didn't explain what he was talking about and he took it back once he saw I was confused. So that's not great.

But he did weigh and measure her and go through a quick check. I did visit the nurse yesterday to have the same check completed, but she marked her on the charts as as 12 month old, not an almost 14 month old. So while I thought she was >90% for height, 50-75% for weight and 50% for head, she is actually spot on 50% for all three.

First steps

Hooray! She did it!

I went out for lunch with some work friends and the baby was particularly squirmy - she just wanted to crawl everywhere, and had zero interest in sitting still or sitting in the stroller.

We mucked around the house for a bit and after her afternoon tea (she has taken to pointing at the fruit bowl and saying 'dat dat dat', so she had a banana), I was sitting on the couch with her. She was alternating between pulling up her shirt so I could see her belly, and then saying "bup bup" - which I took to mean 'up', so I'd pick her up and then say "down" and put her down.

I put her down an arms length away from me, and rather than dropping to the floor and crawling back (like she has been), she took one step, then another! After a practice round I got her to do four in a row and managed to film it for the husband.

She has just gone down for a nap - I can't wait to practice this some more once she wakes up!

Of baths and dogs

Bath time fun just ramped up.

The other night I forgot to close the sliding door, so the dogs were running wild up and down the hallway while the baby was in the bath.

Then, they came in to see what was going on.

Would you believe HOW funny this (apparently) is?

The baby laughs so hard I worry she will drop to her belly and laugh underwater (not for the first time).

She stands in the bath, looks at the dogs, yells her 'da da DA da' (although tonight it sounded like she was actually trying to say 'doggies' and call them in) and laaaaaaaaaaughs.

The little dog wanted to see what was going on, so he jumped up on my lap - which is seemingly twice as funny.

Want to see her laugh so hard she is almost making no noise? Blow on the little dogs head when he tries to lick the edge of the bath.

The pure joy of it all.
Simply gorgeous.

Bonus teeth!

Sometimes I feel I should really be paying more attention...

Just after publishing yesterday's the post, the husband was tickling the baby before I took her in to get changed for a first birthday party. I stopped to watch for a minute and then saw something in her mouth.

Her top two molars have also broken through, sometime in the last week (I think?).

What a good baby! No panadol needed!!!

Dear Baby - Thirteen months

Dear baby,

Hullo!

As I'm typing this, you're meant to be napping. You crawled in to your room, pointed to your dummy that was on your bed, said something along the lines of 'duh doh do dah', and waited for me to give it to you. Then you crawled out of your room, crawled back in, and got your teddy blanket that was next to your cot. You're making a little noise here and there (playing noises, not crying out), so I'm guessing you're tired. I did have to go in once already when you called out - you had thrown your teddy and dummy over the edge of the cot. At least this time you still had your socks and your pants on (as you know how nappies work, I dread the day I walk in to find that on the floor.....).

I've been back at work for three days a week for two weeks now - you're absolutely fine. In fact, when I come home and Pa has been looking after you, it takes you a few minutes to warm back up to me - you'd rather snuggle in to his chest and just watch me. You're usually okay once I come back out with my hair up and in my track pants. You also spent your first day with your Aunty and cousin - all reports are that you had a great day. You were in a fine mood when we got home, and we pushed dinner back half an hour or so so that you could play at home a bit before before you were off to bath and bed.

You have a fun new game for bathtime - a strange order of events which you largely put together yourself. I swish and splash my hand towards you like a shark and tickle your belly, which makes you shriek with laughter, stand up in the bath, give me a kiss on the cheek and then sit down, waiting for it to start again. Sometimes you roll on to your belly so I can't tickle it, and you watch and wait until you decide you're ready and sit up, looking expectantly at my hand. I can even see you suck your little belly in before you get tickled - so cute.

You still aren't a big fan of getting your teeth brushed. You'll stand at the edge of the bath and open your mouth for me to brush your lower teeth two or three times, then you grab it and sit down and chew on it, chucking it in the bath water every so often. Which is gross. But at least you're brushing your teeth.

Speaking of teeth, another one cracked through sometime during the week! You've had red cheeks and drool on and off for a few months, and I'd check it every so often. On Tuesday, I felt the tips of your bottom right middle molar come through, but on Wednesday it felt smooth again. This morning, I could definitely see something (in the small period of time you let me look at your teeth). No panadol needed at any stage!

The husband looked after you yesterday after having had only three hours sleep (luckily the Olympics are almost over) and you decided to wake up before 7am - a very odd occurence. In fact, you woke up after 8:30 this morning! He said that despite the migraine he had in the morning, you were lots of fun (he napped with you for an hour and a half after lunch). You're at a super cute age. You've started to squeal when we play, which is super adorable.

You're getting closer to talking - I think I heard you say 'birds' the other day as we looked at the cockatiels, but you haven't said it since. You have also started saying 'Zilla' now (our dog), but you say it without the 'i', and it ends with your voice going up. Most of your noises start with 'd', but you point at what you want. Like the hairbrush this morning, on my dresser. You 'brushed' my hair too, which was actually quite nice.

You're getting more particular about things that you do and don't like. Unfortunately, you don't like getting your pyjama buttons done up - unfortunate for you, because it has to be done. You like to reach for the picture hanging near your change table, which you think is a game. It's not.

You like to turn the lightswitches on and off - daddy taught you this one. After your bath we look in the mirror, then you get to turn the heat light off and the normal light on (so that I remember to come back and tidy it up once you're asleep). You love this game so much that you grab at the doorframe as we leave so that you can do it some more - lucky we're clued in to this, or else we'd get a bit of a shock.

Pa taught you 'round and round the garden' - we'd played it a few times with your hand, but he taught you that you get to do the circles before being tickled. Once we get to 'one step....' you stop and you wait, ready to laugh. You still love rough games - being dragged around, thrown up in the air, tipped backwards. You especially like it when Grace is nearby so that you see her upside down face - this is seemingly extra funny.

You're very close to walking, but cautious like your mummy. You walk while holding one of our fingers, but we're not really supporting you in any way. A few times I've let go of your hands to see if you'll stand, but often you realise you're standing and then slowly squat yourself down to the ground (although sometimes you get shocked and cry and I feel terrible). I can't imagine it will be too long before you realise you can stand yourself up without holding on to anything, and it will all follow from there.

You love your birthday bike - quite often toward the end of the day you'll take our hand and walk us over to your bike. Very subtle. You're happy to be pushed in laps around the loungeroom and kitchen, but you're equally as happy to be pushed back and forth, or just sit in it watching.

It's lovely to see you growing in to such a happy young girl. Your hair is getting longer, and although it's mullety, it's growing out in the back. Soon we'll be able to tie it and it will just kill me to see you looking so adorable but also so much like a girl, not a baby. You're easy going, you're social, you're happy to play alone or with us. You laugh a lot, you communicate as best you can, and you cuddle your toys up under your chin with a smile. You're cheeky, you known when you're doing wrong, and you love to imitate and chide us with a waggly finger when we say 'naughty, naughty, naughty!'.

We love you very much, thank you for all that you bring.

Backwards

The husband and my father have both told me that the baby is able to climb up on to the couch now - sometimes off the giftbox we have placed so our tiny chihuahua can get up there to escape her, and sometimes not even bothering with that.

The giftbox has also been good for her as she got used to stepping up, climbing over and slithering down it. She is quite confident getting down off things headfirst. This is not actually a good thing.

We've been trying to teach her 'backwards!' so she learns to back herself off the couch or bed or anything that's too high to be leaving headfirst. However, we haven't yet worked out a term to call out to get her to work out to spin around... so she'll near the edge of the bed, hear the 'backwards' call and start reversing, usually veering to the side and getting stuck at the footboard.

But boy does she look proud!

Flashback

I've had this comment bookmarked for ages - as soon as I read it, it was like a lightbulb moment of "Yes! This is exactly what it was like!!!"

From a Jezebel commenter:

Texting while you're breastfeeding is not going to make you tense. It's going to make you feel slightly more connected to the rest of humanity and slightly less like a milk-covered sweaty captive beast who is milked every hour for two months by an incredibly cruel and demanding tiny master who gives you no affection in return for 24 hour intensive care, and in fact actively causes you pain and attempts to cover you in his fluids at least once a day, while you cry and watch daytime television.

So much of the difficulty in the early days came from the lack of return with the baby. I remember the first time she smiled - after almost two months. And I would tell everyone who asked (and even those who didn't) that that was the start of our turnaround together - all of a sudden she realised there was something going on and there was someone helping her out.

Just have to remember it eventually gets better....!

So it begins

I've had three full days at work now, trialling out my 8am-5pm.

Monday night, I was in bed at 9:30am.

I think it's the quick switch from a year of ho-humming around the house, to being (expected to be) a fully functioning, intelligent adult, learning a new job in a new environment. But it's great - I'm really loving it.

By the time the baby finally went down for her nap this morning, I knew I was going to have to get out of the house. We arranged to catch up with a friend after I sat at home waiting to see if mothers group was on or not. And as it was, my friend is a work friend and we sat with two other work friends for part of it.

Being back at work is probably going to give me some more momentum at home, I think. I mean, I do still like to get in and check out my facebook and my email and my RSS, but I should be using this time to be doing stuff. Today I've folded washing and hung out a load, tidied the three bedrooms, caught up with a friend, bought a new rubbish and recycling bin (with lids and pedals to stop the baby getting her hands in there - ICK), bought outdoor birdseed, changed the food of our cockatiels, made muffins for tonight and done the dishes. Once the baby is awake I'll be restocking the nappy bag, setting up her dinner for the husband to take with him tonight and getting ready for swimming.

Then, back to work tomorrow.

The last day

I've been in a foul mood all day. I'm not really sure what it is - I woke up weary.

The house is looking a bit of a bomb site - I've been conscious that I go in to work tomorrow to prepare for a presentation I have to give on Tuesday, then as of next week I'll be working three days a week - so I've probably been letting it slip.

I spent the morning tidying up - the baby's room was terrible as it seems she has had another mini growth spurt and she could now reach the books in her bookshelf, on her bookshelf and on the bedside table and pull them in to her cot. The spare room is full of drying/dry/unsorted/folded clothes. Our room has parts of my wardrobe all over it as I sort my clothes in to 'what I can fit in to' and 'what I should be able to fit in to but can't because I am just eating lots of crap all the time'.

After her nap, I got her ready to head out to buy some balloons to remember the birthdays of the two babies from my mothers group who passed away. And while I was getting her ready, I sneezed. And she cracked up. So we played 'pretend sneezing' just so I could hear that delightful noise. And I leaned in close to her and asked her how she had enjoyed the past year, at home with me. And she pushed me in the face.

So that was that.

She has become easier to look after though. I think I've been spending the past few days stressing about how things are just going to get 'harder' as I expect I'll need to keep the house to standard, keep her and the husband and I fed and just generally 'sorted' (I seem to do more sorting/planning than I realised), and then fit in 0.7 of a full time job. But the husband pointed out that she's not that 'hard' to look after now. Which is true.

She's happy enough to sit and play. She'll take you by the hand and walk you to the bike we bought her for her birthday when she wants to sit in it and just be pushed back and forth. She eats well (and shows you when she wants what you are eating that she shouldn't really have but how can you resist her when she is showing you how clearly she wants it).

Today she might have said 'hat' and 'bath'. Though I'm probably not going to get to see this develop as much as I would have otherwise, what with my time now going to work to.

Or perhaps I'll notice it more and appreciate it more.

(She also might have hand, foot and mouth, on top of mild croup and some nappy rash. Nice one, mum).

Ten days with no post...

... and I wanted to pop back and let you know what's going on.

I started this to get my brain going and keep it moving during those early days of being a mum. I started to write it for me, so I had something to focus on each day, something to accomplish, something to keep me going and something that I knew I could look back on one day and remember what it was all like.

Somewhere along the line, it turned it to it being something I was writing for the baby. Something to show her what her life was like during the days that neither of us will remember in much detail.

I return to work part time next week, and I've been slowly preparing to drop back in to the 'real' world. I'll be juggling work, as well as housework, cooking and mad variety of tasks that make up the collective of 'mother' (What will she eat? What will she wear? where are those socks? Is she unwell? What did she say? When did her hair get so long?).

My intention is to keep updating, but it won't be every day.

Thank you for sharing in the little details that made this journey what it was - now let's all take a load off and see where it takes us next.

Still daddy's girl

I had my second day at work today, another fairly long day of training in preparation for the new job I will commence in August.

The husband stayed home to look after the baby, also giving my dad a bit of a break before he returns tomorrow. Again, she behaved really well.

They both came to pick me up at the end of the day (they had dropped me off so we didn't have to worry about parking) and I was very happy to see her smiley in the car. As soon as we got home, I jumped out of the car to unclip her and give her a hug.

She looked at me, looked at the husband, then put her arms out for him to take her.

On the one hand, yeah, it stung. I have been home for over a year now, caring for her. I have spent day in and day out looking after her every need, forsaking a lot of professional and personal interaction, and brain power (and salary!).

But, on the other, I guess it's great that she was so happy to have a day without me, and even greater that it was with her daddy.

Pa's day out

Today was the first day my dad/the baby's Pa looked after her for a day, while I went back to work for a few days.

We had a practice last week, so he was prepped for the day.

She was very well behaved!

She had two naps, she ate all her morning and afternoon tea, she ate most of her lunch, and she was happy and played and seemingly loved his company. She didn't cry at all.

I got lots of messages during the day, which I really liked. It was good to know what was going back on at home without me, and also good to hear how much dad was enjoying it (he gave his day 10/10!).

It really couldn't have gone better.

Yes?

At family dinner tonight, I think we got the baby's next new work - "Yes!".

She was in a funny mood - overtired and a bit emotional, swinging from extreme chirpiness to adorableness to sadness to hilarity (apparantly shaking one of her cousins rattle toys is just THE funniest thing) to whinginess (which included cuddles from her, also new).

She was loitering as we ate dinner, taking turns in the husbands lap, my lap and the floor. She would point to my water with a "that" and then smile as I brought it to her mouth for a drink/to spit some on my lap. When she pointed to the glass we would ask "Water? Do you want this? Water? Yes? Yes please?" to try and get some consistent response from her, when it sounded like she replied "Yes!".

The husband and I looked at each other, to check we had each heard it.

The sister in law got a drink and the baby turned to it, pointing "that".

"That's my water", she said, "Would you like some?"

"Yes!"

I think all our jaws dropped on that one!

I hope it sticks around - should make communicating a fair bit easier!

Blip blip, split lip

The baby got totally spoilt. As well as the scooter trike that we bought her, she got four other trikes. FOUR.

I had her sitting on the pink and purple one that my parents bought her, pushing her in laps around the kitche and family room, one hand on the handlebars, one hand on her back.

We stopped and she sat happily on the trike, so happy she started to bounce up and down with her massive grin. I reached for my phone to take a picture for my parents, and that's when she knocked the handlebar which shifted the centre of the bike so she landed flat on her face on the hardwood floor.

And the tears. Oh my.

And then? The blood. Oh.... my.

The husband took turns giving her cuddles and kisses and googling to find out if this was something we needed to take her to hospital for. She wasn't letting us look in her mouth, or put ice on her already swollen top lip.

She stopped crying after a few minutes, and started chewing on a crust of bread, so she was fine.

Me? Not so much.

Tonight, in the bath, I got a quick look, and it's like she has a blood blister or a mark inside her lip, and a little scratch on the outside. Her tooth doesn't look crooked like the husband first fears, but her gum is a bit red. I will definitely be keeping an eye on that.

And I think I'll only be putting her on the trike that we bought her, that we can harness her in to.

Dear Baby - one year old

Dear baby,

I wasn't sure what I was going to write to you tonight, but then I read back through all of the monthly letters I had written you and I nearly cried...

You have just grown so much. You have grown and grown and grown, from a grizzling, grumbling, bleating little needy thing to my gorgeous, smiley, spirited girl.

You are my daughter. You are not a baby. But you are my baby.

We started the day off by bringing you in to our bed to open your presents. When I was a kid, we would always do presents first thing in the day, crowded around mum and dads bed in our pyjamas at some obscene hour. Daddy's family does presents at the end of the day, after dinner and cake. I think I'm going to push for my way - I couldn't imagine a better way to start the day!

You got some alphablocks, a book and a trike from us. You got a tutu, a hat and some gloves from one of the special mums in our mothers group. You got a bath toy that blows bubbles and lights up and sings and pretty does everything imaginable from one of daddy's aunties.

You ate all your breakfast (and some of mine), then you played in the loungeroom while daddy assembled your bike, then he took you for a spin through the kitchen. You went down for a nap, and when you woke up 45 minutes later the house was full of people and you cried. You cried on and off for 10 minutes until daddy took you back to our room to chill a little and just regroup, and then when you returned you were back to your superstar self.

You were passed along, you ate party foods, you wore an adorable outfit and headband, and you played with your mothers group friends in the loungeroom. You watched us blow out the candle on your cake (that caused me no end of heartache when it was crumbling everywhere and not wanting to be iced at 11:30 last night) and you watched the older kids beat up the pinata (which scared you a little). You were meant to have  a nap after your party, but we think you sat quietly in your bed for half an hour because when you were eating dinner later tonight, you kept resting your head down on the tray - we've never seen that before!

You opened a few presents with me, then gave up and let me do the rest as you clung to daddy. You ate all your dinner (cheese stick, peas, corn, capsicum, a piece of bread with egg in the middle, a fruit cup and a yoghurt), then daddy gave you a bath. I read your book that we bought you (twice!) and then you went to bed - you were unsettled, but daddy went in and hugged you to sleep.

There's so much to say, and I don't know where to start or how to say it.

You're adorable. You're happy and cheery, even when you're grumpy. You're cheeky as you pull all the DVD's out of the shelf, as you feed your dinner to the dogs, as you pull your socks and shoes and bibs and hats off. You laugh when we laugh, you cough for sympathy, you crinkle your face up after you sneeze.

You're cuddly, but you're also independent. You're brave, but you're also cautious for little things - you don't like balloons, or the dinosaur ball popper, or AFL footballs. You love to have your hair brushed, and we saw you scratching your own head with a wii remote this evening.

You clap in a fun way, and now in the proper way. You blow back when we blow softly over your face. You whistle. You imitate the noises I make to you. You stick out your tongue when I do the same if I find a poopy nappy. You crawl with intent. You love to hold fingers and walk and walk and walk, and you know to pause next to the couch in the family room so that I can open the sliding door so we can continue on our way. You come down the hall with me to make the bed each morning, and you sit in front of the mirror taking my bangles out of a shoebox and then putting them back in.

You've changed me as a person. You have taught me I am more patient than I ever thought I would be. That I have the ability to overcome the pain of childbirth, the tiredness of helping you learn to live, and the stress of all of the 'what if's'. I fed you for almost a year, and it went so much better than I had thought. My hips and butt have changed in structure, my knees are terrible and my stomach is nothing like it used to be (or anywhere near what it could have been), all because of you. But I wouldn't trade it back for the world.

I walked down the hallway after you this morning, and watched from the doorway as you crawled over to one of the stools in the kitchen. I leant my head against the wall and watched you and realised how cheesy I felt to be doing something out of a terrible movie. But then the gravity of the fact that you are growing really hit me. And then you turned and saw me. And you smiled as you realised I was watching. Then you waved, got down to your knees and just kept on moving.

You've made me, in the same way I made you.

Happy birthday, gorgeous girl. I can't wait to see what this next year brings.

"... all new parents are lame..."

I read this article the other day in Jezebel, and I just wanted to stick it here for future reference - so much of it rings true (as I highlighted in italics)!

Yes, All New Parents Are Lame and Selfish, But C’mon, Man
Tracy Moore

I always thought I was pretty cool, to be honest. But then I had a baby and suddenly was filled with earnestness, concerns about chemicals and safety hazards, a newfound interest in organic foods and a desire to experience conflict resolution. 

In other words, I got pretty lame for a minute. If cool is defined by a certain lack of caring tinged with bits of nihilism and scoffing — always the scoffing — then I became the most deeply caring, meaning-finding optimist you ever did see. I am like a walking Celine Dion record. 

And I embrace it. Nonetheless, I am always hearing how hard it is for childless people to deal with their new-parent friends and the realities of schedules, attention-deficit and all-around friendships taking a dive. You know, 'cause you're different now, you're distracted now, you don't get all gussied up and hit the town like you used to. Your alcohol tolerance is for shit and you're not even fun anymore. 

But now all I can think is, duuuuhh, it's definitely harder for the person with the baby? I mean, sure, it's hard to lose out on a friendship and have a person go in a different direction when you had a thing going — I get it; that has happened to me. But that can't possibly hold a candle to the thing with the baby where you have to actually keep it alive and stuff? And all the caring? It's so much caring. 

And yet, these antagonistic feelings about new parents persist. Is it because we are Ghosts of Your Future that you childless people aren't ready to face? Is it our lack of hygiene? Is it the Toms? (They are so comfortable!) Is it our hypocrisy? It's true, now I won't ever buy fruit that isn't organic, but before the baby I was practically eating gas station burritos every day.
But here I am! I've jumped to the other side. And here are some things you (and I) used to think about new parents that aren't even fair or true, and we both know it. 

"New parents are selfish." Sure, I'll bite. Having a baby is selfish, it's true — it's literally a forced externalization in human form of yourself. But there are so many ways to copy yourself for more instant gratification that are cheaper and probably more satisfying if being replicated is what you're after, like buying a Real Doll with your exact style of pubic hair, or becoming famous. 

If it's selfish to have a baby, what exactly is the payoff? It's one hell of a long-ass con where in exchange for not killing something you get no guarantees that it won't one day write a memoir about you. Plus, it's a form of being a good ancestor to produce a good person. True, it's not the only way to be a good ancestor — you can invent things or just be really nice to homeless people. But having a baby is definitely the most efficient way to earn karma points, because if you just pop out a baby and do nothing and it becomes a social worker, you have already won. Doing nothing good or making a bad person, however, is negative karma for all possible lives. Mama needs some snake eyes! 

Also: Not having a baby is totally selfish, too! Because you don't make any new yous to keep paying for stuff and shouldering the cost or whatever. You know, like the whole giant oneness thing. You're just a big old taker. Hope you solve the financial crisis or something, gaahhhh. 

"People with babies are a pile of bullshit excuses." I'll have you know I was a veritable treasure trove of excuses before I ever thought of conceiving. But true, having a baby is a get-out-of-social-jail card for practically any event that runs late or, hell, runs at all. So is a pet. But in exchange for this built-in bail you get two decades of never actually being able to cut loose for real again. Fair trade? You decide. Most people use that card wisely, knowing that pretending your kid is sick just ain't worth the weird karma it generates. 

"People who have babies immediately become lame." If by lame you mean no longer down to party in the spontaneous sense, then yes, Lamesville coincides with becoming a parent. But this finger-point of a playground insult ceases to mean much when your choices are now basically "be cool" vs. "parental neglect." One of the lamest things I've ever seen is a parent trying super hard to be considered still with-it. "Yeah I just had a kid, or whatever, but at least I can still get it together to listen to some chillwave." Yes, the fact that I just namechecked chillwave a year late only proves how lame I am, too, and I couldn't be happier about it. 

"Parents are always saying they are tired but, come on, they are not that tired." Tired is relative — granted. But baby tired is a kind of eye-bleeding, crazy-tired that you can never really actually opt out of. Not really. Sure, someone can take a kid off your hands for a day, but 'tis a brief respite. Other kinds of tired seem to have built-in exit doors that actually open when things reach a critical mass, whereas having a baby is like a faux mural that looks like an exit door but when you try to hit that bar thingy to go outside, it just laughs at you. 

"Parents change immediately when they have a baby." Childless people are all, "I know she had a baby, but isn't she still supposed to be her own person with an actual identity?" Sorry, hon. No, she isn't. Not really. At least, not for a hot minute. It's taken me two whole years to feel basically like myself again due to breeding, and by "myself" I mean somewhere in between a sea lion and a sloth. 

Having a kid is such a huge, monumental gut-punch of an experience, so what would actually be weirder is popping out your baby and going on Facebook talking about how the same you are. I call bullshit on that shit. How can anyone not be totally utterly changed by parenting? It's impossible for me to not see parenting as transformative, both because I can no longer wear my old shoes but also because I now feel like a gently undulating walrus with a muffin top. 

"All new parents can talk about is their kid." If you're not thinking about your kid constantly right after you have it, call social services. You're doing it wrong. If someone talking about Fifty Shades of Grey is more interesting than an entirely new person you just made, well then I just don't know what. Moreover, keeping a new baby alive trumps all friend's haircuts. And in extreme cases, it also trumps everything but maybe 10 minutes of a breakup story. 

"Parents aren't funny anymore." Well, OK. Listen, I admit it. There were jokes I probably thought were funny when I was childless that make my heart actually wince now. It's a strange, strange thing. I also wouldn't change this new open-heartedness for all the laughs in the world. It happens to you for a reason, and it is good. There will always be enough people in the world for whom nothing is off limits, which is also good, but those of us who have crossed over to the soft side will just have to hold up the pillows.

Hips - one year check up

We had the 12 month checkup on the baby's hips today.

She was nice and still for the xray, which was handy as the husband was at work so it was just me. Old habits die hard, and she just wanted to grab her feet and stick her butt up in the air (like she did in the harness), but the girl operating the machine took it pretty well.

The appointment with the surgeon was very quick. He put the xrays up on the wall and showed us that the socket joints are both in the right place, which is good. He drew all the angles and showed us that her left hip is still on 30 degrees (the same as it was in Feb) and her right hip is also on 30 degrees (it was 40 in Feb).

We will have another xray in 12 months time (no mention of an 18 week scan and night bracing (which is awesome!) but we wonder if we should have brought that up with him). He is hoping that her angles will be at 20 when she is 2 years old. If they are at 30 at 2 years old, she has a 50/50 chance of having normally developed hips as adult, so we would continue to monitor it before considering surgery.

Very glad to have that over and done with for a whole year, though already secretly dreading how that appointment will go, and what results it might bring. He noted that she is moving well, which seems to be a good thing, and he said that it could be that everything is fine but that the ossification is taking longer than average because she had the dysplasia - fingers crossed that that's all it is.

Pa daycare

The baby and I spent the day with her Pa, practicing for his first full day running 'Pa daycare' next week. We stopped past his work, we had lunch with my mum, went to Costco, and came home. He got to open and close the pram, get her after her nap, feed he afternoon tea, play a bit, and change a dirty nappy.

I warned him not to expect to get a lot done - my main worry being that a day of doing 'nothing' can be harder than you expect. He stated that as long as she doesn't cry all day, then it will be a success - even tears for half the day is half a win!

I'm sure it is all going to go fine, and I feel good knowing that he is there to be able to do it, and also that he is keen (at this stage!).

'That'

I'm pretty sure 'that' is her new next word (after quite a lull!).

She is pointing at everything. I find myself wondering what the fireplace pipe is actually called, and whether talking about the monkey in the pictures in her bedroom will teach her the wrong word for 'picture'.

But you walk her around the house and she's makes the same noise: 'da-t' (with an adorable little 't' noise at the end after a pause).

I did think she said 'bird' and 'water' as well today (after I'd said them to her), but neither were repeated. And most of the time she kept pointing to her water today, she was making a noise like 'anya'.

Pretty exciting to see these develop - I wonder when the point will come that I can say words and she will try to repeat the noises?

Icecream

We hosted family tea tonight - pies/veg rolls, roast veggies and mini magnums for dessert.

The baby has made a remarkable comeback from her terrible mood week and was being delightful. She was in no rush for her dinner and was happy to crawl around and up on laps and down again while we ate.

Then it was time for dessert.

She was super keen on the husband's icecream, eyeing it off an opening her mouth each time he raised it to his own, so I conned him in to giving her a taste. And she loved it.

We all thought she'd give up on it once he finished, but as soon as she realised it was all gone, she turned her eyes to me, pointing at my (still unfinished) icecream.

So, she's got her head around things being same. And also how to be adorable and get what she wants!

Daddy's girl

With the husband taking Fridays off work to care for the baby, she's had a weekend full of daddy time.

And she has loved it.

While there has been times where the husband has felt frustrated at not being able to comfort her when she only wanted me, he is seeing the other side of the pendulum. If she sees him, she reaches out for him. If he leaves the room, she whimpers. If he's within reach, she's near him or on him or crawling to him or in his arms or clinging to his trousers.

It's adorable and really, really lovely to see.

Sleep

FINALLY, for the first time in over a week, the baby slept through the night again.

No calling out. No dummy-putting-in-again. No tucking in.

Nothing.

Aaaaaaaaand, the husband let me sleep in, so I was able to sleep until 10 (after getting home from a friends place at 1am!).

I could use more of these days!!

Shopping

The baby's first birthday is in a week. ONE WEEK. (It's crazy that this all feels so new, but I'm nearing in on a year of it now).

This morning, we headed out to pick up a present for the baby - she's getting one of those multi-phase bike things - basically, we'll be pushing her on a bike with a handle of the back on it, and it will transition through to a little trailer-wheeled trike in a year or two.

There's a few more small things to get, and I still have to (start) planning her party next Saturday. I can't really wrap my head around the fact that this is the first birthday of the baby that we made.

Much the same

This morning, the baby woke in a better mood.

Yesterday afternoon she was whingy. She could be distracted slightly, but then would do something to upset herself. By the time the husband got home for me to go swimming, I was ready. I passed her over with 'I'm outy!' and I left.

After my lesson I sat in the car, took a breath and realised that having that one hour break was enough to give me the strength to dive back in to the babies mood.

Luckily.

Because as soon as I got out of the car at the husbands parents house, I could hear her crying. She had cried for almost two hours (since I left for swimming) and hadn't eaten much at all. And there were no dummies in the nappy bag.

The poor husband had already driven home and back again after he'd forgotten the nappy bag, but he quickly volunteered to head out to get the dummies and some panadol.

By the time he got back, she was thankfully quiet - I'd managed to distract her with a Jatz biscuit and some mummy cuddles (though not too many, because that also triggered her off). Over the course of dinner she probably swung through her mood extremes five times.

We were all very happy to have the day behind us, and I was double glad to see her smile at me from her cot when I went in to get her ready this morning.

But.

After a morning at the shops (including a nap), a (two hour!) nap at home and then a drive out to the city, she was back to her old self. I carried her through the shop while I ran my errand. She whinged her way through some floor time. Whined her way through 'dinner' (more on the floor, only a few mouthfuls of pasta, a few peas, a tub of yoghurt and half a mandarin for dinner). She carried on in the bath, and double time on the change table.

She was asleep in bed by 6:30.

I read that there is another wonder week between 49-52 weeks. I hope this passes - I think I am the gladdest I have been in a long time that tomorrow is Friday and 'daddy daycare' day - though I don't think I'll be getting out of it scot-free!

Feelings

I have the tv on in the background while I get ready for mothers group, and a show was reviewing a movie about a French child protection unit. The scene included a baby crying, and it showed the mother picking it up and shaking it to be quiet (it didn't get quiet). A female police officer runs across the road to question and arrest her.

Just watching it, I feel sick.

You know, you go through pregnancy and all it's crazy hormones, then you have the baby, and you would expect that everything would return to how it was before, just with an extra person in your life.

But it just doesn't work like that.

Of course, I would have been shocked to see it at any stage (although I would have been at work if I didn't have the baby), But I don't know that it would have brought on the sick drop in my stomach, the tightness in my chest, the light-headed pang and the start of tears in my eyes.

Hard days night

So, yesterday didn't get any better.

Her naps would have been maybe half an hour long. She ate only a little breakfast, a few bites of lunch and not much dinner. EVERYTHING was being pushed on to the floor. No to rice milk (I'm trying a few different things to try and get milk in to her) and NO NO NO water. No to cuddles. No to sitting on the floor. No to not banging her head on the coffee table but yes to whinging. Yes to little whingy whiney peep noise all. after. noon.

It got to the point where I left early for family tea because I didn't know what else to do with her and had told her more than once in a happy voice that she was really being a turd and she was trying mypatience.

Then, last night, she woke up at 4am, with that whinge. And I got up three times between 4 and 5 to try and resettle her. I popped the dummy in and tucked her in. I popped the dummy in and took her second blanket off and gave her a (unwanted) hug. I popped some nurofen in and the dummy in and turned on her music box. And then of course I lay awake thinking that now I couldn't hear her so something must be wrong.

It really was a day like the early days - the exasperation of not knowing what to do with her when nothing seemed to work. While I had the benefit of an okay nights sleep the night before (this is the third night in a row I've had to get up for her), it's almost harder because you have more of an idea of the things that usually work (that aren't working) and because she has the control of movement, her pushing you away is actually her pushing you away.

But, I guess it will get harder in a year or two when she's a toddler and understands more and pushes my buttons. Or when she's a child and she'll do things without understanding risk and consequence. Or when she's a teenager and she understands danger but goes back to pushing my buttons.

I guess it's all hard!

Teething again?

Gawd I hope so.

The last few days, the baby has been a bit whingy and clingy. And then tired, but not taking longer naps. And drooly. And still snotty. And not eating as much, but throwing lots on the floor.

Lots of fun.

Her cheeks had that darker red look yesterday, but it's hard to get in there and have a look.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease be teeth and pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase come quickly!

Party night

Last night we headed out for a friends birthday party - we'd been bowling in the afternoon, then dropped home for a baby nap and to get ready, then the baby was heading off to my parents for dinner and a sleep while the husband and I headed out for dinner, drinks and dessert.

I dropped the baby off just before 6pm and we picked her up close to midnight.

For those few hours, we we were able to switch off and just hang out with our friends. And not only was it good for us, but it was good for our friends (who haven't yet started a family), and it was good for the baby (her first real babysitting night in my family home) and good for my parents (who got to dinner and bath and bed with her).

It was so reassuring to see how easily she settled for my parents and how much they seemed to enjoy having her - there's going to be a few things coming up towards the end of the year where the baby will need to stay with family overnight...!

That? Yes?

I think we're getting closer to 'yes'. Or 'that'.

I'm not sure what it is, but there's a short word that is currently starting with a 'd' noise.

PLEASE BE 'YES'!

Weigh in

I took the baby in to be weighed yesterday, now that we're pushing it out to once a month or so.

She weighs 9.435kg (50th percentile) is 76cm long (75th percentile) and a head circumference of 50cm (50th percentile). That's an increase of 200g, growth of half a centimeter, and head gain of 5cm in a month.

Her head has followed the average course, but her height and weight have dipped a bit in the last month (but still fine). But since the last appointment, she has dropped both her breastfeeds and learnt to crawl, so it's pretty fair.

The nurse suggested we try her on soy milk, seeing as she is not liking the cows milk, so I'm going to head out and get her a few different types. She also suggested a soft tip cup for the milk, but maybe one that is different to all of her water ones - I had been giving it to her in a hard tip cup so that she wouldn't get it confused with water and stop her water.

She didn't seem too worried about her milk intake as she is still getting three dairy serves a day, and she said the same thing that the last nurse had - it's our job as parents to offer it, and her job to take it.

Turn around, bright eyes

I got the baby's carseat turned today.

She was on the top shoulder strap of her seat, and the set up of the rear-facing seat meant that the taller she got, the more the passenger seat had to be pushed forward.

I knew that we were nearing the point where she would need to be turned, and I knew that I would have no idea how to do it - I  knew I would have to get the husband to do it, that there would be some swearing, and that I would then have either drive her in a seat we weren't sure was correctly installed or stay home bound until a Friday when the husband was home and I could head out with out her.

We drove from Kidsafe down to the clinic to get her weighed and measured, and I think she enjoyed it. She doesn't have the sun randomly shining straight on to her face (win!) and she can see a lot more.

It was also odd for me - I'm used to be able to look at the rear view mirror and see her reflection in the little mirror we suction capped to the rear window - now I need to turn my head more, and I'm actually looking straight at her! It did make me talk to her more in the car, so that's probably a good thing too.

Doctor Doctor

The visit to the doctor went well.

The baby was overtired (she had only had her morning nap and efforts to get her to nap in her bed and in the car had failed) but cheery as usual. Her ears were a little red, but nothing to be worried about. Her chest and back were clear. Her throat was all good (I didn't think she would let the doctor have a look, but she did!). Her temperature was fine - she thinks that she may have had a fever that broke around the time I was giving her a bath.

She does, however, have a sacral dimple. I wasn't sure what it was, but knew when some babies are born, it kind of looks like there is an extra hole near the top of their butt. I raised it with the nurse the last time I was in there, and she didn't think it was serious but suggested we get the doctor to check it out next time we were in. It can be a symptom of a spina bifida, but I refused to even google it because they had said it seemed unlikely. The doctor is happy that it's fine and nothing to worry about (*phew!*).

The doctor said she had beautiful little teeth and that she was moving really well, especially considering her time in the harness.

Beside the fact that she didn't have an afternoon nap AT ALL after that, she was definitely looking and sounding a bit chirpier than she had been in a few days.

Still not well

Last night (after three naps), the baby was unhappy before dinner time - making a little raspy whingy noise every so often - so we sat on the couch and she ate a rice crusket and seemed pretty happy just to be held. I felt her head and it was hot, but when I got out our thermometer the battery had gone flat. Awesome.

After dinner (and lots of water), she had a bath. And I noticed her skin felt a bit rough (I'm not sure if we're still meant to be moisturising her after every bath?), then realised they were tiny little goosebumps. I kept the bath nice and warm and kept washing it over her back and belly.

Then when I got her out to dry her, she was shivering.

And she went down pretty quickly and quietly, with the occassional sad little cough coming through the monitor.

Last night, I woke up with a super sore throat - that explains her raspy whinge.

She's not hot today, but she's still snotty and has been grabbing her ears, so we're going to the doctor this afternoon.

I'd probably just feel better getting her ears checked just in case.

Little things

- managing to get one hand out of the baby's grasp, then she grabs on to my pant leg and walks beside me.

- walking the dogs and the pram down to the shops, listening to her sing nonsense.

- her hair is growing and curls on the back left side, not so much on the right.

- changing her nappy, getting a nasty surprise and saying 'blerch!' - she copies your face and sticks her tongue out.

- watching quietly from a room behind as she powercrawls through the house.

- watching her kiss her reflection in the mirror.

- taking up her offer of her drink bottle, pretending to guzzle it to make her laugh.

- rocking like when she was a baby and watching her eyelids get heavy.

- packing things in a bowl and watching her pull out each item, study it, then discard it with a fling.

- asking her to pass me a bath toy, and watching her eyes crinkle as I make it slide down the edge of the bath.

- the cheeky way she stops at the laundry door and shakes her head 'no' before she tries to get to the dogs water bowl.

- standing in front of the tv and trying to touch the balloons through the screen.

- sneaking in kisses when she's on my lap and distracted.

Drip drip

The baby was whingy earlier than we expected last night, bringing her dinner and then her bedtime forward a bit - the husband noticed she was rubbing her ear a bit. She was asleep before 7pm, but around 9pm she was unsettled enough that she took a lot of settling (and some panadol) to get to sleep. We thought she sounded a bit sniffly, so we had the humidifier running in her room, which might also have made it a bit warm.

We woke up just before 9am this morning, and when I went in to check on her she was sitting up in bed - so almost 14 hours sleep for her!

We headed out to the markets and rugged her up super warm - she had a 45 minute nap in the car on the way home, and then another 90 minute nap this afternoon. Again, she got whingy early (it was the first time in quite a while that she has 'refused' to be left on the floor), so another early night (with panadol again).

However, for the first time in many, many, many months, the husband had to nurse her to sleep.

So far it's not been too bad - her mood is generally fine - but she is dripping a lot of (clear!) snot. And she is coughing a bit. And she is scrunching up her face and rubbing her hands all over her ears and eyes (not so awesome while she is eating/before I can get a tissue in there).

I'm hoping it doesn't get to the point where she is really sick, but this is the 'sickest' she's been yet. Not too shabby for almost one year old, but still, not awesome.

Poor baby!

Ball pit

We went to two birthday parties today - one for our 2 year old goddaughter, and one for our friends first birthday.

The first party started earlier so we stopped past and watched the older kids play. The baby was on the floor for a little bit, but a boy pushed her over when she got too close to the toy kitchen he was playing with, so we scooped her back up and entertained her with foot (grape! kiwi fruit! watermelon! pineapple! rice chip!).

The second party was a bit more packed out, and the baby was easily entertained at first with some food (pizza! fairy bread! caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!!!!!) but we managed to hustle over to the toys just after the cake was cut.

And she had a ball in the ball pit!

The last time we went to one, she really wasn't impressed with it. She kind of balanced on it with uncertainty and just kept looking at me to get out.

This time, she kept trying to crawl in (we had to keep her out until the older kids were out). And when she was in she was making noise like we'd never heard her before - it sounded like she was trying to be the centre of attention - and flapping her arms around and 'throwing' balls.

Looks like we might be getting her one for her birthday!

Walk walk run

The baby is getting closer and closer to walking. You could easily keep her entertained for hours, walking through the house holding her hands. We also had a go this afternoon of holding one hand each, the husband and I, walking a lap as a little family.

She's getting faster with her walking.

She's walking more with her walker trolley, rather than just holding on and trying to keep up as it slips away.

She is crawling around more, faster, with more intent and direction.

It's going to be amazing.

Month end

As the baby has clocked over each month, I've found myself getting really excited about her next month 'birthday'.

Except for this one.

While I'm excited that she'll be one in just over three weeks, she's due for her hip x-ray a few days before her birthday.

And I want it to be all fine and all clear and no problems. But this time I need to be prepared for the fact that it might not be. That she might need night splinting. That we might need to head up to Sydney to see a specialist. That she might need surgery.

Playing

I'd read somewhere that babies don't really start to 'play' with each other until they're around 18 months old.

This morning at mothers group, the baby certainly looked to be playing with another girl! They had a water bottle filled with rice (a toy I would emulate here if I could trust the dogs to not chew it up and get rice everywhere) (I can't) and were taking turns.

Funnily/sadly, the game was that the baby would snatch it over the other girl, and then the other girl would whinge. Then the other girl would reach to take it back, the baby would pass it, and then the baby would whinge and flap her arms like she does when she's cranky. And then she'd snatch it back. And they repeated over and over and over.

It was pretty cute.

It was also pretty interesting that the baby would pass it before the other baby would steal it, but would still give the same reaction.

Empathetic soul that she is.

Tooth

Sometime in the last week, the baby's eighth tooth has finally broken through.

There has been a white dot in the corner for months and months and months, so I'm not sure what took it so long.

Scarily, molars will be next. And apparently they are the pits.

Standing

On Sunday afternoon, while hanging around the coffee table as she is prone to do, the baby turned to me and let go of the table.

For that brief second or two, she was standing unassisted.

Of course, then she fell like a plank of wood, narrowly missing banging her head on the tv unit.

But she stood!

Until that point, if you tried to get to her to stand one handed, she would just freeze or slooooooowly lower herself down to the ground (we've been quite lucky in that she taught herself how to get down almost straight away, so haven't experienced any stretch of time where a baby learns how to stand and then just cries and cries and cries until you help it down).

Just like me

We ran in to a friend at the markets this morning - her son turns 1 on Tuesday (How time flies!!! Argh!!!). She told us that they finally managed to get their son in to childcare, so she will be returning to work.

I asked her how she felt, and it was a bit of a relief to know it was pretty much the same as me.

That she knows she is ready.
That she knows he is ready.
That she is just at the point where you do the same thing day after day after day and it's a bit much.
That she thinks she will treasure the time more that she does have with him once she gets back to using her brain.

(Perhaps this means our childcare acceptance is only weeks away...?)

Nose and Mouth

Over breakfast this morning, I asked the baby where my nose was.

And she touched my nose.

She also got my mouth when I asked her where my mouth was.

One of the baby's slightly older friends has been able to do this for a while, and one of newsletters I received this week ("Your baby this week...") pointed out that if you ask them, they will probably be able to do it.

I think we'll be following my dad's demonstration and start on ears next. And helping her to work our what is hers and what is ours.

Lunch with friends

One thing that I definitely will miss once I am back at work will be long lunches.

I know I'll have to put my head down in order to get my work done, because I just won't have the 'luxury' of working through until 7pm to catch up on things.

The baby is a pretty good lunchmate at the moment - she gets in to her food. And even if she's getting tired, she gets wriggly and silly rather than feral (straight away).

Dear baby - Month #11

Dear baby,

This is the last time I get to write to you before you turn one. And then I guess you're not technically my baby anymore, although you'll always be my baby. I'll be spitting on my finger and rubbing your face and you'll be telling me off because your employees are looking at me funny, but you'll be my baby and it will all be okay.

This has been your biggest month in many ways - you started crawling, and then you started doing it a lot. You pulled yourself up using the coffee table, and then you started doing it on anything you can, including trouser legs and the big dog. You started sitting up on your knees and doing a lot of bouncing and singing. You stopped breastfeeding and started taking occasional small sips of milk. You slept through every night (I love you!) and worked out how to open sliding doors. You started spending more time away from me as your daddy started taking full responsibility for you on a Friday when he is home from work, and as I had two days back at work. You got baptised and you started saying 'Nan' and 'Gr' (for Grace the dog) (obviously these two aren't related).

I spent equal time marvelling at how much you're growing and trying to ignore it. It's a constant balance, slightly affected by seeing other babies at your age - some seem so much older, and some do seem so much younger. But either way, I managed to get a decent hug this morning when you were ready for a nap earlier than I expected, so my silly hug and baby rocking was actually really really nice.

You are pretty easy care these days - you're always happy when you wake, and you help me as much as you can when we change and dress you by not trying to roll off the change table (at least not fully), by straightening your arms and bending them, and by helping when I ask to you to put your hands up so we can pull your singlet over your head. You're eating all of your breakfast, you knock over a full banana without any problems, and you're up to two pieces of cheese/mushroom/ham/capsicum toast for lunch - although you always manage to get a few pieces to the dogs, shaking your head 'no' when I tell you off, then grinning at me such that I can't help but grin back...

I'm trying to take you out each day that we're home alone, to make sure you get out and see things and hear things. When we're home, we spend a lot of time listening and singing to music - I do sometimes worry that when you learn to speak properly, you'll sing. You do have a real singing voice though, we can usually hear it in the car, just quiet high notes as the car stereo plays. Maybe you'll be a singer when you grow up, and you can honestly say you were singing before you were even a year old.

You're a dancer too - even when you hear break music in a podcast or the radio on at mothers group, you start to wiggle. If you're standing up, you do the thruster that one of your uncles is particularly well known for. If you're sitting up, you bounce on the spot, lifting your butt off the ground. If you're in your highchair, you shift around so that your chair scoots along the tiles. If you're on the floor, you drop to your belly and do  your own kind of 'worm' that always makes people laugh. We only have to say "Dance! Dance! Dance!" and you're off, with a big smile and proud look.

You're an entertainer and you love attention. When you're sitting with us at a family dinner and the attention isn't all turned to you, you'll be sure to let us know you're still there with a big yell. You're not shrill, or even overly loud or shrieky, but just enough to let us know that you need to have all the attention.

You're starting to point, so I'm trying to make sure I up my talking and explaining to encourage this behaviour. I want you to know what things are and to know that curiosity is great and to not be afraid to talk and ask and question. I also want you to work out your place in the world - get an understanding of what's going on around you and how you fit in.

You're also displaying your emotions more. You reach out for who you want to hold you, but quite often it just ends up in a game of 'pass the baby' as you want to be moved from person to person. You're very amorous and have started giving kisses to more of the family, as well as the highchair table and all sorts of random things. You still hold your mouth open to the dogs, and I think it is for kisses.

You are the best of friends with the dogs, even the little dog is getting better with you. I did see him snap the other day when he was cranky, but he wasn't going to get you (I was right there), and I know if he did he wouldn't actually 'get' you. He likes to pretend play with you to make you laugh, he loves to dart past with a sneaky lick (or a more serious one if I'm not right there), and this afternoon he ran straight to the sliding door near your room when you started to cry from your cot. The big dog continues to be your ever faithful companion - she follows you and you follow her. You still grab her collar, but now it's to pull her head towards yours... although you've been doing it less often.

You're a good fit in size zero clothes, although a lot of the winter stuff I bought you are ones so that you can grow in over winter. Your hair is growing and is a light mousy brown, with tufts at the top and mullety feathering at the back. Your eyes are still big and blue and get you lots of comments from strangers, but they are taking on a greenish-grey tint. While you're definitely slimmer than you used to be, you still have a fold in each forearm and multiple rolls and folds in your thighs. You have nubbly little fingers, chubby little toes and roly-poly feet. You still have your seven teeth, with your bottom left one still peeking through the gum but not moving. You have a delightful pudgy butt made for playful smacks when your nappy is changed, when you roll over in the bath, when you're crawling away.

You start dinner at 6pm and have become really good at picking up those little microwaved veggies. You can work your way through a piece of steak without much hassle. You still love your bath, although you're trying your best to make it hard for me to wash you because you want to get straight to the point where you just get to sit and roll around and play with the floating toys. You like to reach for the pages in the book, but you mainly like to open and close the front cover. We can usually only just make it through one book before you get cranky, but I don't want to muck up your schedule by switching things our or earlier.  By the time I've gone back in the bathroom to put away your bath stuff, your room is quiet until the next morning.

And then we start again.

You'll always be my baby, and I'll always be loving you that much more each day.