Hard days night

So, yesterday didn't get any better.

Her naps would have been maybe half an hour long. She ate only a little breakfast, a few bites of lunch and not much dinner. EVERYTHING was being pushed on to the floor. No to rice milk (I'm trying a few different things to try and get milk in to her) and NO NO NO water. No to cuddles. No to sitting on the floor. No to not banging her head on the coffee table but yes to whinging. Yes to little whingy whiney peep noise all. after. noon.

It got to the point where I left early for family tea because I didn't know what else to do with her and had told her more than once in a happy voice that she was really being a turd and she was trying mypatience.

Then, last night, she woke up at 4am, with that whinge. And I got up three times between 4 and 5 to try and resettle her. I popped the dummy in and tucked her in. I popped the dummy in and took her second blanket off and gave her a (unwanted) hug. I popped some nurofen in and the dummy in and turned on her music box. And then of course I lay awake thinking that now I couldn't hear her so something must be wrong.

It really was a day like the early days - the exasperation of not knowing what to do with her when nothing seemed to work. While I had the benefit of an okay nights sleep the night before (this is the third night in a row I've had to get up for her), it's almost harder because you have more of an idea of the things that usually work (that aren't working) and because she has the control of movement, her pushing you away is actually her pushing you away.

But, I guess it will get harder in a year or two when she's a toddler and understands more and pushes my buttons. Or when she's a child and she'll do things without understanding risk and consequence. Or when she's a teenager and she understands danger but goes back to pushing my buttons.

I guess it's all hard!