Before we got The Toddler diagnosed as being officially sick, I'd made comment to The Husband that I was only enjoying my days 10% of the time.
That's 6 minutes in every hour that didn't feel like a struggle, pushing through with the toddler.
I had my first day yesterday since The Bubby was born, where I did nothing. I dropped The Toddler at daycare and napped. I made appointments, caught up on some tv, tidied up a bit and basically schlepped around in my trackpants, doing what I wanted as I wanted.
I needed it.
It's hard to articulate to The Husband, but being at home you do feel like you're left behind a lot. Obviously, I know going to work isn't 'fun'. But I've had moments where I've thought about how lovely it would to be in nice clothes, in the warm, talking to adults, sitting at desk using both hands.
In a week, The Husband is often at work from 8:30 until around 7pm. He plays squash for an extra hour or so one night a week. He runs twice a week to family tea. Some days he rides to and from work meaning he is gone before 7. He goes for a swim once or twice most weeks.
And this is all time where I'm one person for two people.
And it's hard to articulate to others what it's like. One of my brothers commented the other day that he didn't realise how much babies can stuff up your tv watching schedule. It's the small things that you don't think you'll miss out on that you do. Like being able to sit on the couch all weekend and tweet about the hottest 100. Or catch up with friends for coffee and cake without having to spend the hour before it trying to feed a baby whose not ready to feed yet. Or vaccuum the floor. Or go on a holiday with friends for a weekend because your baby won't be weaned for some time yet.