Sinking

My parents very kindly agreed to look after the girls for a few hours this afternoon so that The Husband and I could get out of the house together and do some exercise. We decided to go swimming because he was already doing that, I learnt how to late last year, and it's one of the three exercises I'm allowed to do because my pelvis is still (STILL!) splitting (although at the last appointment it had only split front to back, not front to back and up and down).

From there, it all went downhill.

 - Swimming' isn't really a together sport. It's not particularly social, even if you are in the same lane.

 - I wasn't even able to kick myself 12 metres (using arms and legs) before I needed to stop for air.

 - I headed down to the deep end to make sure I was comfortable with it (having never swum in water where I couldn't touch the bottom). I headed down to the bottom and realised that no, I was not comfortable with it. I couldn't touch the bottom when I was quite a bit under.

I did a total of 150m freestyle using the board in about 15 minutes with about 8 breaks before I announced to The Husband that I was bored. It was boring, my shoulder hurt, and I sucked more than I remembered. I told him to keep going and I didn't expect him to anything about it. And then I did another 75m of just my legs and the kickboard before I lost the kickboard down the deepend.

Great.

I managed to grab the lane rope and pull myself forward to get enough momentum to swim to where I could stand, and then I had to wait for the husband to swim another few laps before he bumped in to the board and realised I'd stopped. He returned it and I could feel myself losing it, so I got out and headed for the showers for a good old silent cry in the showers. Awesome.

It set off a whole bunch of feelings. There was the fact that I had to get in to swimmers in the first place (ick). The fact this was something I thought I was okay with, and I wasn't. The fact that I felt like I'd cornered my parents in to agreeing to look after the babies and it was a waste. That it was so easy for The Husband and so easy for me. That it was meant to be time we got out and spent together and it wasn't. That it was one of the few times I've been out baby free and this is how I was spending it.

Urgh.