Tuesday 31 January 2012

What would you say?

My sister-in-law is due to have a baby any minute now (well, middle of next month, but still!) and it's veeeeeeeeeery exciting! It's crazy to think back to those last few weeks of anticipation - not knowing what was going to happen, and when and how.

At the same time, an online friend of mine who had a baby the same month that we did is pregnant again. Already. The idea is just crazy to me (I could not imagine going through all that again so soon!), but these two things combined have got me thinking about what I would tell myself the second time around - what do I wish I knew then that I do now?

 - rest while you're pregnant. You won't be resting anywhere near as much (even though those first few weeks where the baby sleeps like 20 hours a day might make you think otherwise) so take whatever rest you can get.

 - I don't know if reading until 2am in the morning contributed to the baby sleeping all day and being awake all night, but just in case - put that book down and get some shut eye.

 - don't freak out about your belly. Two months is too early to be trying to kick back in to crazy exercise (particularly after two years without it!). The weight will come off - a bunch of it in the first week or two, and there will be growth spurts where your body will just let bits of weight fall off. The most important thing you can do is eat well and when you're hungry.

 - you'll probably get more stretchmarks, but there's nothing you can really do about it. Try to believe that quote about them actually being kick-ass tiger stripes that you've earned.

 - breastfeeding only hurt a bit for the first few weeks. Now, it doesn't hurt at all. The milk will settle, you'll stop feeling like you're always sopping wet, and you don't even really notice the letdown anymore.

 - speaking of breastfeeing - while you may be spending 45 minutes each side, many many times a day, it's going to ease up. Around the 3-4 month mark, baby will drop it back to like five minutes, and not always both sides. Enjoy the time you have together, because in a few months it will be a much smaller part of what you do.

 - the vomits will also stop after a few months - just get some big, adorable bibs and be careful which way you face the baby. Once solids kick in, it's pretty amazing how quickly the random spewing will just stop. Buy plenty of maternity singlets and try not to freak out if you can.

 - don't bother saving special outfits for special occasions (unless you know what the specific occasion is). Babies grow, and it's sad to go through the drawers and find an outfit you forgot you had, that your baby will never get to wear. Besides, they vomit on everything, so you'll be powering through those tiny little suits and shirts.

 - your baby will smile and interact. Those first few months are rough, but just consider it to be learning time. Your baby is not dissapointed in you, they just haven't learnt how to express their love for you.

 - take photos with the proper camera. They do grow and change so much you won't always see it.

 - try and relax. As long as your baby is making lots of wet nappies and is relatively happy, you'll be fine. Call the nurse line if you're worry, and don't be reckless, but worrying is just praying for things you don't want to happen.

Edited to add:- don't worry about the housework! It took you 4-5 months (at the very least!) to be able to get in to a routine and keep the house at a reasonable standard. The mess won't be there forever, and you will only have a few 'free' parts of the day, that you don't have to spend doing housework - have a nap, sort through your clothes, read a magazine, get out in the sun. You will fall in to a pattern and your baby will eventually become more portable and patient.

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