Fatigue

One of the ladies in one of the online mothers groups I'm in posted some nformation from a journal article the other day.

Here is an extract that I found really interesting (my own bolding):

Together, the repetitive work of managing a household and caring for an infant cannot be
completed by one person. Nevertheless, the prevailing stereotype is that only paid employment is defined as work. Many women seek to assume the increased workload singlehanded and to spare their partners who are ‘working’. Severe exhaustion in mothers of newborns is not named as occupational fatigue, perhaps because of pejorative stereotypes that label them as‘not working’ or ‘stay-at-home’. These stereotypes mean also that the domestic setting is not conceptualised or named as a workplace and consequently does not benefit from considerations of occupational safety, including responsibility for managing worker fatigue. Infant care is far more time-consuming than can be imagined and all other household activities are slower and
more difficult to complete when caring simultaneously for a baby. It is not accurate to define the times when an infant is asleep as spare time, not only because there are invariably other household tasks to complete but also because there is no true freedom either to rest or to pursue leisure activities because of the essential primary responsibility for the baby. The tasks do not remit on weekends and, in general, women have much less leisure than had been anticipated. In the absence of a clear evidence-base to management of fatigue, it can be normalised, or responded to with advice that might be unproven, ineffective and difficult to implement including ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ or ‘get more help’. 

Fatigue has been regarded as symptomatic of depression, but an alternative view is that it arises because the unpaid workload of mothering a newborn, especially one with unsettled behaviours, is severely underestimated.

Spot on!

The tiredness and the time-suck are two things I couldn't really have any idea about. Pregnancy tiredness is so different (and no less real) than post-baby tiredness. I'm not that 'tired' that often, but I've definitely felt fatigued, and still do (at least once a week!).

And as involved as the husband is, I don't think he has a real understanding/appreciation for what the days are actually like around here.

It's definitely something that I'll remember for all the mums I meet - more admiration for those with older and/or multiple kids, and more proactive understanding for those who will be having children in the future!